Armored Gensokyo
by DarkShiftRising
Summary: At the end of it all, Nineball Seraph, the strongest Armored Core alive, fell, defeated in Isaac City. But the remains of the legendary sentient AC were never found. One Yukari Yakumo intervened at the last, dropping the wounded machine into the fantastical realm of Gensokyo, to a fateful meeting with the OTHER Nineball. Expect other ACs and Super Robots to appear later, SRW style!
1. 1: Divine(?) Intervention

Welcome to Armored Gensokyo, a little side project that occurred to me recently. Chapters won't be anywhere NEAR as long as my more famous work, the Omega Chronicles, as I don't want to start spreading myself too thinly with regards to my various stories. However, it'll hopefully make it easier to update due to these chapters taking less time.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Divine(?) Intervention**

He had failed.

That single, terrible fact glared back at him in every blaring red warning light, damage reports flooding his senses.

The ultimate AI, the being that had transcended the boundary between sentient and nonsentient machines, who had sought only to protect humanity, and the world, fell at last.

The machine dropped to it's knees, flames bursting to life around it.

All he was, everything he had done, had been towards that one goal, to protect mankind.

The ultimate line of defense for the world itself, to maintain the balance of power.

If the world needed a savior, he would be that savior. And if it needed a devil, he would become that devil.

Everything he did, everything he had ever done, had been towards that one goal, of protecting mankind, and the world, from themselves.

And so he had waited here, waited for the one whose power had become great enough to threaten that balance. He had waited, meticulously checking through each and every one of his systems in preparation for this, as his mass-produced subordinates charged out to stop the enemy, or to at least slow him down.

Though he was a machine, and therefore should have been incapable of emotions, the AI who had long since surpassed those limits felt a fleeting moment of regret as each of their deaths registered in his databanks. Subordinate they might be, they were still a part of him, and he regretted the loss.

But, for the sake of the directive that was the core of his existence, the being of red and black iron would take no chances.

And then, as the lift to this final, hidden arena had exploded, the enemy who would overturn the world finally dropping to the floor with a devastating crash in front of him, the Master of the Arena, the one who had held the title of number one had raised his head, the dreadful red visor blinking to life as he spoke his challenge.

He had seen the hate in the intruder's eyes, the cold fury of one driven solely by a desire for revenge, and knew then that the time for words was past.

Like his father before, the enemy too had grown into someone whose very existence disturbed the balance of power that he had carefully maintained for over a decade.

He had killed the father, and now it seemed that he must face the child too, an enemy he himself had inadvertently created.

And so the battle had begun.

It had lasted for hours, the roars of their weapons the only sounds, the colossal machines slamming into one another, energy blades burning in the darkness, disengaging to fire at each other and then re-engaging again.

And in the end, he had found himself here, defeated and broken, down on his knees as his frame vented smoke and fire.

The last line of defense for the world, the only hope for it to remain balanced, destroyed by one individual's desire for revenge.

He had no doubts that his enemy realized the magnitude of what their vengeance had wrought. Having come this far, it would have been impossible not to. And yet the regret in his opponent was still overshadowed by the sweet taste of revenge for a family many years dead by his hand.

Amidst the flames, the broken machine stirred, fingers twitching.

No...this could not be...

Joints sparking, the fingers clenched into a fist.

He would not...allow this to be the end...!

The red visor, dimmed temporarily, came to life with an angry hum, the red and black head slowly lifting to glare through the flames at the one who had bested him.

Not...for a petty reason...like this...!

Alarms blared, countless systems screaming alerts at him, telling him to stop moving, that it was impossible to coax any more functionality out of his dying frame.

The machine rasped a metallic growl, killing the alerts.

He had fought for so long, ensuring this world's safety, pursuing that one task he had been assigned with, had seen so many wonders, and so many horrors, becoming something more than a mere machine in the process...

Metal screamed in protest, as he forced himself upright, steam bursting from ruptured hydraulics in his legs. Light sparked and died as his left arm broke off, the joints at his shoulder twisted and melted, finally giving way and crashing to the ground, loose wires flashing with arcs of electricity.

No...he would not allow it!

The long, twin barrels of his built in pulse cannons slid out from beneath his remaining wrist, humming as it began to power up.

His enemy took a step back, warily raising its rifle.

And as the pulse cannon finally came to bear, muzzle shaking with the effort, new alarms went off, and his arm jerked, sparks dancing over his joints. Spasming, it jerked up, the machine powerless to do anything but watch as the mechanical muscles of his right arm went out of control-

-and died, his elbow exploding as his entire forearm dropped to the ground with a crash, the glow of the pulse cannon fading away.

A metallic rumble coming from his throat, the machine cursed his failing body, and forced himself to move. Still trying to protect that one thing he had fought all his life for, he took one stumbling step forward.

And then one more, before sparks flew from his knee, and he staggered and fell, his broken frame crashing to the ground with a devastating impact.

Through the flames that leapt up around him, eager to feed on a new source of fuel, he was dimly aware of his enemy leaving, boosters flaring as they disappeared back up the ruined elevator shaft.

The red light of his visor never flickered, not even once, even as the flames grew taller.

He would not die.

Not even now, in his defeat and failure.

Even as his systems began to go dark, one by one, the AI who had served as the ultimate guardian of the world never faltered, forcing himself to remain online.

And then, he felt it.

A strange...sense, as though he was being, called, somehow, to a distant, far away place.

He had felt a similar sensation many times in the later days of his career, but try as he might, he had never found any cause for it, or where it had even originated from.

In the past, he had always just written it off as junk data, an error from his sensors.

But now, here, in this place, on the border between life and death, the machine knew this was nothing so simple as that.

He had encountered many strange things over the years, bewildering occurrences that couldn't be explained by science. He had even begun to get the unsettling feeling that he himself was becoming one such occurrence, a machine that was more than a machine.

And now, he realized, this strange siren call was also another of these things.

"My, my..."

It was then he realized that the flames had dimmed, their progress slowed, and that he was no longer alone.

A woman stood there, on the other side of them.

Her folded parasol clicked as she rested the tip on the ground in front of her, staring up at the massive machine in front of her, his red gaze staring down at her in confusion.

"I thought I'd felt the barrier calling out to a new fantasy, so I thought I'd come greet the newcomer personally..."She said, her violet gaze roaming over his ruined frame, "But I never expected to find something like this..."

Staring down at her, the machine struggled to make sense of what his sensors were telling him. This...no, she was no mere woman. She was not even slightly human to begin with, something that even he, with all his years had never encountered.

Something that existed within the borders of fantasy.

And something with powers he could only barely comprehend.

He struggled to speak, but with his comms system smashed, he barely managed a burst of incoherent static.

"Who am I?" The thing in front of him smiled, brushing her gold hair back. "I'm no-one, really...though I suppose you could call me the welcoming party for now."

Static again.

"'Welcoming party for what?' you ask? Why, the rest of your life, of course!"

Before the stunned machine could react to this outrageous statement, a cold feeling spread through him. As the flames suddenly surged back to life, a colossal purple and black void opened beneath him, dozens of sightless eyes staring blankly out of it. Too late, he felt gravity's pull, his ruined sensors blinking alarms as he fell, plummeting into the dark, his red gaze flashing.

The last thing he saw, the shattered stump of his right arm reaching futilely back up to the light of his world, was the gold haired being, her violet dress shifting slightly as she smiled down at him.

"Welcome, Nineball Seraph...to Gensokyo!"

A final burst of outraged static, and the gap slammed shut.

"Hah..." The thing that looked like a gold-haired woman in a violet dress sighed, shouldering her parasol again. "Well really, was there any call to use that kind of language?"

A smooth baritone laugh sounded from behind her.

"Your hospitality does leave something to be desired, 'Honorable Sage'."

She turned on her heel, a teasing smile on her face as she beheld the figure strolling casually out of the shadows, his expression as coolly amused as ever.

"Why, 'Doctor'! Surely you couldn't be suggesting that I'm a poor host!"

"Hm...I wonder about that." The newcomer said lightly, his faded purple hair, almost a dark pink in color, glinting in the light of the flames that still burned in the underground chamber. He adjusted his white coat, casually brushing aside one end of the tasseled purple scarf that hung from beneath his collar, in a manner reminiscent of a priest.

"You do realize, of course, that you've just dropped him into Gensokyo from a height of several dozen kilometers, right?"

There was a moment's silence.

"...Eh?" She blinked. "...ah. Oh dear."

Another beat.

"Well, I'm sure our newest guest will be fine." She gave a sheepish smile. "I did drop him on Youkai Mountain, so the kappa will be all too eager to get to work on him!"

The man simply chuckled.

"You and I both know you don't simply 'make mistakes', miss Sage...but at the very least, it should prove amusing."

"Oh, you're no fun..." She pouted, twirling her parasol on her shoulder childishly.

"Alas, it is a curse of mine, I fear." He shrugged, smirking. "But on a rather more serious note, don't you think you had best get a move on? Nineball Seraph was more than a mere machine. He was a system, this world's natural balance of power. With his 'death'..."

"As business-like as ever, I see..." the violet-dressed woman sighed, straightening up as her playful demeanor receded somewhat.

The man just shrugged again.

"I am aware of the consequences for those who disrupt the world, my dear 'doctor'. And more importantly, I know how to get away from them."

She smiled at him.

"I expected as much..." The man gave a sigh. "I suppose I shall have to step in to cover your tracks then..."

"Thaaa~aanks!" She chirped, before giving an apologetic bow, one hand held up placatingly in front of her face. "Sorry for the trouble again...I promise I'll make it up to you!"

The man tilted his head with an ironic smile.

"I can assure you, Honorable Sage, I'm not doing this for your sake alone. My interest has been...piqued, you might say."

"All right then...!" A small folding fan flicking out into her hand, the woman drew a line in the air with the tip of it. As it opened into another portal, similar to the one that had swallowed the remains of the strongest Armored Core, she stepped towards it.

"I'll be off then." She paused, to look back at him, a teasing look on her face, "I mean, unless you'd rather the pleasure of my company?"

The man waved one hand affably at her.

"Shoo, would you? You're distracting me."

She laughed.

"Very well then, I know when I'm not wanted."

And as she stepped into the purple-black void, she tossed one final comment over her shoulder at him.

"Do try not to go overboard, Mr. Shirakawa!"

A brief moment of silence as the portal closed behind her, before the man gave a slight chuckle.

"Saying unnecessary things as always...I should be telling you that, Ms. Yakumo Yukari."

The darkness behind him boiled to life, gravity twisting in on itself.

And as a monstrous form of dark blue steel emerged, cold golden eyes glinting in the light, a massive steel halo glowing yellow on it's back, he raised a hand.

"Shin Neo Granzon..."

The colossal machine's eyes flashed once in acknowledgment. After all, if Nineball Seraph had supposedly been destroyed by that other AC, then what better way to cover his disappearance than erasing the site of his demise, and all evidence with it?

"Black Hole Cluster...HASHA!"

* * *

**A/N: **And so it begins...

Where will this story go from here?

What is the fate of the legendary Armored Core, Nineball Seraph?

And WHAT THE HELL IS THAT TROLLING BASTARD DOING HERE WITH THAT MONSTER OF A MECH?

Not to mention, SINCE WHEN WAS HE ON GOOD TERMS WITH THAT DAMN GAP YOUKAI?!

These questions, and more...will be answered at some point I have no idea about, because really, I'm kind of making this up as I go along.

Chances are I may even come back to this same post and lengthen it further into a proper chapter. For now though, I think it's good enough as a 'placeholder' of sorts, or to at least get it down on paper. For now though, it's just a sort of rough draft, so don't worry too much about it. I'm a little worried about Nineball's personality, actually. But I'll look at that in more detail later. For now, just let me know what you think.

I began this story over on DeviantArt, and the response was good enough to convince me to bring it here too.

I WILL continue this, but as always, my writing focus will be on the Omega Chronicles.

I will be writing this as more of a sort of side project, with updates depending on how often I get the inspiration for them.

...

...WHY IS THERE NEVER ENOUGH TIME TO DO EVERYTHING?!

ARGH

...anyway, enjoy! Because if you're like me, I KNOW you've been dying to see this crossover done!

...done properly, I mean, because I KNOW there's a weird-ass one out there that's ridiculously short, almost entirely unintelligible and is basically troll-fodder.

So to all the Armored Core fans, and to all of the Touhou fans, if you've been waiting for the day you'd finally see someone writing a fic where Nineball met the Nineball, enjoy!

And to the Super Robot Wars fans, YOU KNOW WHO SHU SHIRAKAWA IS.

...and finally, try not to eat me alive with flames. ^^;


	2. 2: The Art Of Making An Entrance

**Chapter 2: The Art Of Making An Entrance****  
**

Had some time, so I figured I'd upload another one. And totally not because I'm wondering if anyone even saw the first chapter. Seriously, some feedback would be nice, guys!

Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

Darkness closed on Nineball, a black void empty save for the strange, staring eyes everywhere around him.

None of his remaining sensors made any understandable responses, as though the space around him was simultaneously expanding and contracting at once.

And then, before he could make any sense of it, light and sound both returned in force, bright sunlight shining down on his face, the wind roaring as it rushed past him.

Almost instantly, he knew this was not the world of his origin. What was left of his atmospheric analysis suite confirmed levels of pollution whole orders of magnitude lower than his home, and nothing here matched the navigational data he still had access to. Not only that, but...were those...trees?

Before the stunned AI's static riddled cameras, a vast, panoramic vista spread out in the distance, a paradise of nature, untouched by the hellish ravages of forces such as the Corporations of Crest, Mirage and Kisaragi.

This was a world he had never thought possible, the past glories of Earth before the wars, an image he had been created for, to act as a balance of power that would stop humanity from growing too far away from this for them to ever return...

Shocked by the sudden change in environment, and disoriented by the navigational errors that matched this place to no known location in his databanks, it took Nineball longer than it should have to realize the obvious.

Firstly, why was the wind roaring past him?

And secondly, where exactly was he in order to be able to see such a panoramic vista?

Another one of those strange sensations began to spread through him. Nineball had long since decided to consider these odd moments as the things humans called 'emotions', and had begun to file them away in a subfolder for reference. This was a new one however, though he had the distinct impression that he still knew the name of it as he managed to twist himself around in midair to the realization that he was approximately eight point three seven five kilometers above the ground and falling fast.

He believed this was what was called 'dread'.

Also closely pursued by a digital memo to hunt down that gold-haired...thing, in the violet dress later. Revenge was also a new one to him, but he didn't exactly feel adverse to the idea of experimenting with it.

At least, assuming he survived the next ten minutes.

Forcing his shattered frame to move, he twisted around again, visor flickering as he desperately searched for a way out.

…

…

...There!

That mountain!

It was close enough, and high enough that with the calculations he was able to run, it was theoretically possible for him to fall on the slope of it and ride it down to ground level as a makeshift deceleration ramp of sorts.

...there were a disturbing number of trees along that route, he noted with what he suspected was called 'trepidation', but it was either that or fall the remaining seven kilometers straight down to slam into the flat ground without any kind of deceleration to help.

Now the only question was, how to get to it...

After several precious seconds were wasted in pulling up his diagnostics, his visor flashed as he realized that maybe, just maybe, he had a way out of this...

* * *

Youkai Mountain.

A landmark easily identifiable from almost anywhere in Gensokyo, it towers over the landscape, majestic in appearance. Ruled over by the crow tengu, and their retainers, the white wolf tengu, it is closed to any who would dare intrude on their territory. Recently though, they had made an exception in the form of the Goddess of Wind and Rain, Kanako Yasaka and her entourage, the Goddess in Name Only, Suwako Moriya and the descendant of Moriya, Sanae Kochiya, the living goddess.

...to be fair, it was either that or get smashed flat by Kanako, whose alternate titles included that of 'War God'. Not to mention the divine Onbashira at her command...or Sanae's ability to create miracles...or the fact that despite having relinquished superiority to Kanako, Suwako was still a goddess with the firepower to back up her title.

Suffice to say, the tengu decided it was probably in their better interests to leave them be.

Which is how the Moriya Shrine came to exist.

One of the more prosperous shrines in Gensokyo, today was an unaccountably slow day for them. There had been only one or two believers coming to pay their respects for the day so far, and as always when it came to matters of gathering faith, Kanako was getting antsy.

"Now, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, Lady Kanako..." Sanae said placatingly, "They're just...having a late start, that's all!"

"As if..." Kanako growled, drumming her fingertips on the table."Yesterday we had hundreds of them in here by this time!"

"Actually, it was more like a dozen." A pair of eyes poked up over the edge of the table, followed by the hat they rested atop, and finally the childish face of Suwako. "You're worrying about nothing!"

She gave the war goddess an odd look.

"Actually, you've been a little off since this morning. What's wrong?"

Kanako gave her an annoyed look and opened her mouth to retort...before her shoulders slumped and she gave a sigh.

"Good question." She admitted finally. "I don't quite know what it is, but something's been off this entire morning, and it's getting on my nerves..."

Sanae lit up.

"Could this be one of your divine premonitions, Lady Kanako?!"

"Um...no, Sanae, I don't think so..." She said hesitantly. "This feels more like the way the wind drops right before a storm."

"Kanako, I think that probably counts." Suwako deadpanned.

"Ayayaya~! Is this a scoop I smell?"

The ruling goddess of the Moriya shrine groaned, dropping her head into her hands.

"Wonderful...just what I need now. The paparazzi..."

A figure sidled out from behind the sliding door, maple-leaf fan in one hand, ever-present camera in the other as the crow tengu Shameimaru Aya made her appearance.

"A divine premonition isn't anything to take so lightly, 'Lady Kanako'." She grinned.

"Go away, you irritating crow..."Kanako groaned. "The last thing I need is you starting some kind of apocalyptic panic with that second-rate tabloid you call a newspaper..."

"Ayaya, how rude!" Aya grinned, "I only tell the people the truth, don't I?"

"Yeah, with no regard to actual fact or investigation." Suwako sighed, leaning on the table.

"That's okay, Lady Kanako!" Sanae chimed in brightly. "Nobody reads that old thing anyway, so even if she does publish anything, it won't be a problem!"

There was an audible thud as the tengu reporter slumped over in the corner, a cloud of depression looming over her head.

Ignoring her completely, Kanako raised an eyebrow.

"Good point Sanae, I forgot about that..."

'Harsh...!' Suwako winced.

"Gh...I-I won't let a little thing like that keep me down~!" Aya reared up, clenching one fist in a dynamic pose. "I'll definitely find out the truth behind this! I can already see the headlines: 'Wind Goddesses Premonition Averts Incident!' Haha!"

She was already scribbling away in her notebook, a look of manic glee in her eyes.

"See, this is why nobody takes your paper seriously, Shameimaru..."Suwako sighed. "Kanako, just send her flying with an Onbashira so we can-"

Suwako stopped, a nervous look on her face.

"Er...Kanako?"

The wind goddess was rubbing her chin, a distinctly predatory look in her eyes.

"No...no, I like this...Just think, if word gets around that my premonitions averted an entire Incident, which usually needs the shrine maiden of Hakurei to settle, belief in the Moriya Shrine will skyrocket!"

She slammed one foot down on the table, clenching her fist in triumph.

"WE'LL HAVE MORE FAITH THAN WE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

'...it looks like there's another idiot here as well...' Suwako thought to herself.

"But Lady Kanako, no-one bothers to read that trashy newspaper anyway, so they wouldn't know about that either, right?" Sanae smiled cheerfully.

"Ah." Kanako paused in mid-rant, ignoring the sobbing tengu in the corner. "You're right. I forgot about that."

"Cruel..." Suwako winced, Aya's cloud of gloom now somehow managing to produce rain and lightning.

"D-DAMN IIIIIIIIIIT!" The crow tengu's pen snapped between her fingers. "Don't you look down on my Bunbunmaru newspaper, you-!"

She stopped, blinking.

"Eh?"

"What is it now, crow?"

Aya gave them a bewildered look.

"Can't you hear that?"

"Hear...?" Kanako stopped, cocking her head slightly. "Wait...I hear it too...!"

A dull roaring sound, so faint that it was only now that they could hear it in the silence.

"What...is that?"

Aya's eyes widened.

"I don't know, but it's getting louder!"

Kanako and Suwako exchanged glances for a moment, then nodded. Four onbashira materialized around Kanako, light glowing in Suwako's hands as they both headed for the door. Sanae was already there ahead of them, Aya leading the pack as though her reporter's nose could already smell a story in the making.

After a few tense moments surveying the empty yard, the war goddess relaxed slightly.

"All right, it seems clear so far..." She murmured, head turning as she scanned the temple grounds.

"I don't know..." Suwako muttered, eyes flickering over the surroundings. "Then where's that sound coming from...?"

It was deafening now, seeming to vibrate through the entire environment.

"I...I think I might know the answer to that..." Aya stammered, eyes wide.

"What-?"

"Lady Kanako, look at that!" Sanae cried out, one hand pointing to the sky.

And as they turned-

There was a blast of static, the roar suddenly increasing to teeth-shaking levels, and the red and black frame of Nineball Seraph struck the mountain a glancing blow, smashing half of the shrine to splinters, plowing a trail of destruction across the yard's flagstones, snapping the arch of the temple gates in two, and then hurtling onwards down the side of the mountain, the cracked and battered boosters on his back blasting flames and smoke as they propelled him onwards.

As the smoke and noise faded, Aya picked herself up off the ground.

"Wha...what the hell was that...?!"

"Ah...geh...buh...!"

She looked around.

Kanako still stood there, frozen in shock as she stared at the ruins of the shrine.

"Um...I think she's going to be out of it for a while..." Suwako coughed, straightening her hat. "But what WAS that thing...?! If I didn't know better, I'd say it was something on par with our Hisoutensoku!"

It was then they both became aware of a high pitched keening noise.

"Um..."

Suwako sighed.

"...that'd be Sanae."

They both turned to see the green haired shrine girl standing very still, staring after the path of destruction, both hands balled into fists and pressed against her mouth, eyes wide and sparkling.

"-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGIANTROBOTEE EEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"BREATHE, Sanae!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-gah!" The shrine girl stopped, gasping for breath. "Oh my...oh my...DID YOU SEE THAT LADY SUWAKO! THAT WAS ANOTHER GIANT ROBOT!"

Aya gave the frog goddess a bewildered look.

"...Don't ask." She groaned, brushing the dust off. "It's a thing."

"SANAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Both the tengu and goddess flinched, Kanako howling like a wounded beast.

"Yes, Lady Kanako!"

The war goddess' shoulders shook, her chest heaving.

"...FIND ME...THAT DAMN MACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

* * *

**A/N: **Don't worry Sanae, we've all been there. Also, I think every AC player here's cussed out the water mechanics of the old games AT LEAST once or twice. Ah well, on the brightside, at least they got that part right in For Answer. XD


	3. 3: Now With 150 Percent More Charisma!

**Chapter 3: Now With 150% More Charisma!**

* * *

Nineball was an AI.

This meant that despite all of his other advantages, he had a certain lack in the way of emotions. It had only been during the last few years that he had been starting to experience these strange errors, that despite all logic, were apparently some kind of mechanical equivalent of such things.

By and large, he mostly ignored them, save for those moments when one such 'error' which he had hence classified as 'intuition' had actually increased his combat efficiency.

But at the heart of all of this, Nineball Seraph, or rather, Hustler One, the mind that controlled this armored body, was still a machine, with his forte in performing thousands of complicated calculations in mere moments.

Which is why, when reviewing his remaining resources, he had come to an immediate decision.

Without a moment's hesitation, he had hastily contrived a jury-rigged bypass for his main boosters. Smashed and ruined though they were, the important parts necessary for thrust were still there. He wouldn't be able to steer very well, if at all, but considering that his generators were running on the last of their emergency batteries, he doubted it would be a problem for long.

His bypass completed in more time than it should have, the control system having crashed twice before he could get it completed, Nineball angled his frame towards the mountain as best he could, and ignited his boosters.

Just as planned, the new acceleration allowed him to control his descent just enough that he was at a perfect angle to ride the mountainside to the ground.

Right up to the point where he discovered that his fuel had run out two minutes ago and that in a blatant dismissal of all the laws of physics, his boosters kept going.

Devoting his formidable computational skill to the anomaly, he soon came to the stunning realization that somehow, his frame was feeding off of some strange energy of sorts in the air. Further scans confirmed that this...'energy' permeated the entire environment, with little to no harmful effects. Indeed, everything here seemed to thrive on it.

And apparently now, so too did he.

Which served to explain why, despite his best efforts, his boosters were not running out of power. Briefly, he considered whether or not his bypass circumventing the emergency kill-switch had really been an optimum choice, and decided that the trees now smashing themselves to splinters on his hull made that a definite negative.

He was also approximately 91% certain he had demolished some structure or the other when he had first touched down, before hurtling past it, across what he suspected was a stone staircase, before crashing headfirst into this forest.

And he was still going.

Even as one part of his core processes focused on trying to minimize the damage, twisting and turning his onrushing body out of the more harmful collisions, and still another struggled to find some way to shut down his out of control boosters, the third part of his intellect turned it's attention to the strange energy that seemed to be fueling him now.

After several moments, twenty-three splintered trees, an unlucky elk and a shattered rock outcropping, his processors came up with an identification for it.

Magic.

Nineball Seraph stared blankly at the one word in front of his electronic senses for a moment.

Then, he reassembled his processing power, and ran a disk check.

After several more moments, and an ever increasing amount of damage to his surroundings, Hustler One concluded that his logic subroutines had probably taken one too many hits from trees and/or rocks, and promptly decided to ignore it altogether.

He had just begun work on another attempt at shutting down his boosters when he realized the trees had finally stopped. Feeling what he supposed was 'relief' at finally being in the clear, he lifted his battered head...

Only to feel an odd, sinking sensation somewhere around his midsection as he beheld the shape of a large, sprawling Western-styled mansion of stone, surrounded by a massive wall, all of which was approaching him at a most disconcerting rate.

Oh yes, and it was all painted a deep, scarlet red color.

Nineball Seraph regarded the onrushing outer wall and after a moment, concluded from a brief spectral scan that yes, it was in fact made of blocks comprised of 99.87% pure granite.

As an addendum, he deduced from the aforementioned conclusion that there was also a 99.9% chance that this was not going to end well.

* * *

The Scarlet Devil Mansion.

A lakeside mansion, painted the color of it's name, it was home to the Scarlet sisters, Remilia and her younger sibling Flandre, both vampires of the highest caliber.

Remilia herself was the head of the household, her power said to be strong enough to change even fate itself, a charismatic presence that commanded immediate attention wherever she went. A relative newcomer to Gensokyo, she'd soon made a name for herself by instigating the Scarlet Mist Incident, in which a bloody red mist had spread across the Gensokyo sky, sending those of weaker minds insane and in general causing all kinds of trouble, before she'd been bested by the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, Hakurei Reimu.

The younger sister, Flandre...well, let's not get into that. She meant well, really. It's just that having the monstrous power to destroy anything in sight was not exactly the best thing when paired with the mentality of an eleven year old girl. As a result, Remilia tried to keep her confined to the house as much as possible, though she was known to let her go out to play from time to time, or to accompany her on the occasional shrine visit.

Due to their different looks, as well as their powers, it had often been speculated that they weren't actually related by blood, although to be honest, neither of them seemed at all trouble by that idea.

The mansion itself was run by the staff of fairy maids, basically hired from Gensokyo's constant supply of the natural beings. It was usually the bored ones who came to apply, looking for something new to do. The workload awaiting them once they put on the uniform quickly ensured they were anything but.

Although, there were a few instances when other Gensokyo residents, needing a quick way to get cash, would work part time at the mansion, usually leading to hilarious antics of some kind or another.

People were still talking about the running danmaku battle between the immortals Kaguya Houraisan and Fujiwara no Mokou that had destroyed most of the mansion's east wing and gotten them both stuck rebuilding it for the next three weeks.

It hadn't helped that the younger Scarlet sister had caught wind of the fight and had happily jumped in to 'play' with them. It had taken both immortals two hours just to find enough pieces of themselves afterwards to be able to move at all.

Flandre DID say she was sorry...

At any rate, key to the mansion's smooth running was the idol of every one of the fairy maids: The Chief Maid, one Sakuya Izayoi.

The very picture perfect definition of elegance, she handled the day to day chores with a speed and efficiency that left them all in wonder. Even in a mansion as great as this, and despite the fact that in a land of myths and wondrous creatures, she, a mere human, was still in a class of her own.

The devil's power, the ability to stop even time.

That was the domain of Sakuya Izayoi, second in command of the SDM, and answerable only to Remilia Scarlet herself. It was also the secret to her overwhelming efficiency, completing tasks that should have taken much longer in a matter of moments. Or at least that's what it seemed like to anyone else. But even putting that demonic power aside, there was no denying that the Chief Maid of the Scarlet Devil mansion was a cut above the rest, carrying herself with poise and grace.

And she was very, VERY good at her job.

On the other end of the spectrum, however, is the gate guard of the mansion.

The chinese martial artist, Hong Meiling.

Though she may look human, she was actually a youkai. Of what type exactly no-one had ever really been sure, but the fact remained that she was indeed exceptionally skilled in chinese martial arts. She had even boasted of her prowess when she had first been hired, claiming her abilities were unrivaled in the field of hand to hand combat.

And she was probably right.

Unfortunately, this hadn't helped her one bit in the field of danmaku combat, as proven when the shrine maiden of Hakurei and the black-white 'Ordinary Magician' had utterly flattened her on their charge into the SDM to stop the now infamous Scarlet Mist Incident. Undaunted by her crushing defeat, she'd set about rebuilding her fighting style from the ground up and her effectiveness was increasing with each fight.

...which still wasn't enough to stop the more powerful residents of Gensokyo, such as the shrine maiden, or the Magician, who alternated between full-frontal attacks and simple trickery to get in.

It was rumored that the Chief Maid had a bit of a soft spot for her, although it was widely agreed that any such thing most likely happened after hours, on account of her penchant for inflicting horrible amounts of sharp, pointy pain on Hong Meiling every time she caught the chinese girl napping on the job.

...which was often.

...or when she was simply slacking, which was an even more regular occurrence.

Either way, anyone caught discussing that particular topic would very quickly find themselves surrounded by a wall of floating knives.

And God forbid they brought up the subject of the Chief Maid's chest and the suspicions of her using pa-

* * *

**Please hold while the author recovers from several stab wounds.**

* * *

The final important member of the SDM was the magician Patchouli Knowledge. Also known by the title of the Great Unmoving Library, she was the least active out of them all, preferring to stay locked inside the SDM's colossal library where she was content to read away her time in the company of her demonic servant and librarian, Koakuma. A true magician, her body no longer requires food or drink or sleep, perfectly preserved. Unfortunately, due to her ailing health at the moment she truly became a 'magician' her poor physical condition was also preserved, restricting her from any strenuous physical activity. Despite that, her magical ability is beyond impressive, and were it not for her physical deficiencies, Patchouli would no doubt rank extremely highly in the Gensokyo power hierarchy.

...is what she would like you to believe, but considering just how often a certain black-white 'Ordinary' Magician keeps showing her up every time she breaks into the Library to loot any new tomes, well...

However, our attention now is on the master of this mansion, Remilia Scarlet.

As per her usual routine, she was to be found in the ballroom of the newly reconstructed left wing, enjoying a cup of red tea. Though she did not truly need blood to survive, the ambient magic of Gensokyo more than enough to sustain her, she found it oddly relaxing to drink something that at least looked like blood. There was also the fact that she knew her loyal maid, Sakuya, was in the habit of regularly adding one or two drops of her own blood to Remilia's tea. She had never asked Sakuya to do that, nor had the perfect maid ever brought it up, but as it was harmless and helped to keep her more...dangerous instincts in check even when a full moon came around, Remilia saw no reason to bring it up.

It did, however, give the tea prepared by Sakuya a unique and wonderful flavor all its own, which was an added bonus.

"Sakuya, another cup."

"Of course, milady."

The elegant maid, in attendance as she always was during these moments, bowed, stepping forward with the teapot.

"Hmph...it's about time I made an appearance in this silly story." Remilia sniffed haughtily. "I should have been here from the very beginning!"

"Ah, milady, I don't know if it's all right for you to be breaking the fourth wall yet..."

"Nonsense, Sakuya! For one as charismatic and refined as myself, it's only natural that the story change to suit my tastes. And that includes such paltry things as the fourth wall!"

"...As you say, milady." Sakuya sighed.

"Now then...since I'm the main character, what should I do next...?"

"Um, milady...your tea."

"Eh?"

Remilia looked down at the cup in her hand. Though she wasn't moving it, bit by bit, the red liquid inside was beginning to ripple.

Moments later, the table itself began to rattle, the windowpanes vibrating in their frames, a hellishly loud rumble filling the air.

"What the devil-?"

She barely had time to finish the sentence before the entire back wall exploded in smoke and debris, a colossal figure of black and red iron crashing through it as Nineball Seraph promptly demolished the entire left wing of the Scarlet Devil mansion for the second time in less than a month.

...to be fair, he wasn't exactly happy about it either.

* * *

**A/N:** ...I am beginning to think I'm taking entirely too much enjoyment from ruining poor Nineball's day. On the other hand, it's not really a Touhou work unless the SDM's exploding, so what the heck.

I think I'm beginning to get the hang of writing the Touhou girls by this point...mostly.

And I apologize for the pad joke, but really, I had to crack it at least once for this story. Just be glad I managed to restrain myself all the way to chapter 3. XD

Anyway, enjoy! As always, let me know what you readers think!


	4. 4: MY NAME IS HONG MEILING!

**Chapter 4: MY NAME IS HONG MEILING!**

* * *

He'd been right.

It hadn't ended well.

Flames and black smoke pouring from his back, Nineball was VERY close to degenerating into the human habit of utilizing extremely choice words.

He was fairly certain that half of his face had been torn off in the impact, several of his armor's external layers peeling away under the shock.

And that had just been the outer wall of the scarlet estate.

He'd hit the main compound a second later, losing most of his right shoulder into the process, before blasting through that too. And now he was directly on course for the other side of that wall.

With increasing urgency, his remaining control systems, now further reduced by the damage of his last two impacts, struggled to find some way, ANY way to kill his obstinate boosters. He had been lucky, INCREDIBLY lucky to have survived everything up to this point, but he didn't care to make any calculations regarding his chances if he hit that last wall now in this condition.

It was then he was jarred out of his ever increasing sea of alerts and warnings by one more, so utterly bizzare and unexpected that he had to pay attention to it.

DANGER! ENEMY UNIT DETECTED IN CLOSE PROXIMITY! PREPARE FOR CLOSE RANGE COMBAT!

Hustler One gaped at the message for a full second, his digital pathways temporarily pausing as he absorbed the ludicrousness of the situation.

There wasn't an enemy unit within a thousand miles! In fact he rather doubted there were any AC units, Raven or otherwise, in this entire world! So what-

He stopped, visor flickering with alarm as it caught sight of a figure down near the front of his head's triangular forehead. It was designed to be swept forward, tapering to a point several meters ahead of his visor, rather like a horn of sorts.

Only now there seemed to be someone holding onto it.

And despite how utterly ludicrous and impossible that should have been, Nineball could not deny the video feed.

There, arms clamped firmly onto the prow of his helmet, her boots carving trenches in the dirt as she struggled against his uncontrolled acceleration, Hong Meiling, gate guard of the Scarlet Devil Mansion fought on.

"I don't know...who you are...!" She gritted, "Or where you've come from..."

Hustler One's electronic senses flickered in alarm, static blurring his vision as his speedometer blinked up.

Yet another impossibility appearing before him, the Master of the Arena realized that not only was she successfully holding onto him, even at this speed, she was actually gaining ground! Despite his rationality protocols denying it across the board, the fact remained that his speedometer was slowly ticking back down past the three hundred kph mark!

"But if I let you get past me...!" Meiling growled, tears of despair in her eyes. "IT'LL BE NO FOOD FOR ANOTHER WEEEEEEEEE~EEEEEK!"

_**Did nothing and no-one in this world make any sense?!**_ Nineball's scattered intellect demanded briefly, before re-coalescing in alarm as a tremendous shock ran through his armor.

Channeling as much ki as she could manage into her legs, Hong Meiling dug her heels in with one explosive burst, the ground cracking and sinking in a crater around her.

"I may not be good at danmaku-!" She grinned, tightening her grip on the Armored Core's prow. "But if it's a physical contest you want...!"

Metal groaned and creaked, Nineball noting with further incredulity that she was actually denting his armor with the force of her strength.

Another explosive blast of ki, the ground cratering even deeper, fragments blown out by the shockwave, and for a brief instant, the already reeling AI realized his speedometer had dropped straight from 387 kph straight down to zero. In that one second, Meiling stood there, stopping the full force of an out of control, Overboosting Armored Core a dozen times her size with just the physical strength and ki control she had developed over the hundreds of years of her training.

Then, she gave a wild roar, Hustler One struggling to understand what was even happening here, she swung her body around, metal crumpling under her grip-

And suddenly Nineball was airborne again, the world pinwheeling crazily as his cameras sparked and glitched.

His processing power pushed to it's limit, he managed to get one screen online, the quality horribly degraded by a cracked lens and static-ridden images. But it was just in time for him to see the back wall of the strange mansion sail past beneath him.

She had...how did...this couldn't...what was this he didn't even-!

Even for all his devastating computational intellect, Hustler One struggled to come to grips with the fact that he had just been thrown clean over a thirty-foot high wall with room to spare...by a single. Human. FEMALE.

She had just thrown an ENTIRE ARMORED CORE, weighing SEVERAL TONS, and PROPELLED BY AN OUT OF CONTROL OVERBOOST, INTO THE AIR.

EVEN ANOTHER AC COULDN'T DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS-!

It was then, in the midst of a minor logic breakdown, that Nineball saw his reflection.

Ah.

A lake.

His still malfunctioning boosters must have added more momentum to his trajectory than he'd expected. Happy to turn his attention to something slightly more believable, he was pleased to deduce that yes, flooding his engines would finally be enough to cause them to shut down. And as an additional bonus, it would serve as a perfect decelerant, and a most likely easier landing than if he'd fallen in the forest.

On the downside, he was still traveling at a fairly high speed.

…

…

Nineball wordlessly shut down all his external feeds, putting as many of his vital systems into shock-resistant mode as he was able.

It was odd, but he thought there was a strangely human statement that would sum this all up.

This was going to...what was the word...? Ah yes.

Hurt.

WHA-BOOOOOOM!

* * *

As a colossal geyser of water erupted into the sky behind her, Meiling clenched her fist in elation.

"Yesssssssss!"

She'd done it! She'd finally stopped an enemy trespasser from getting through the SDM gate! She stared at the unbroken wall in front of her with pride, savoring the slow burn of her muscles. She'd repelled the enemy, and with nothing more than her own strength.

"Hahahahaha! Yes, now they'll ALL know the strength of my martial arts! Even Lady Remilia will have to acknowledge me after this!"

A pause.

"Ooh! Ooh! And Miss Sakuya!" She yelped, voice high-pitched with delight. "I really hope she saw that! Then she'll come to me saying things like 'Ooh, Meiling, you're so strong and brave!' And I'll answer with 'Well, naturally! After all, my love for you is unparalleled!' and-and-"

"Ahem."

Meiling froze. She knew that cough.

"O-oh, hello, Sakuya..."

The maid stood there, considerably red in the face, several knives already in hand.

"Hello, Meiling."

"Ah!" Meiling started. "Yes! Miss Sakuya, did you see, did you see?! I did it! I stopped that huge thing! I didn't let it get near the wall! I saved the mansion!"

She stuck out her chest proudly.

Sakuya stared at her for a long minute.

_'Any minute now...aaaaany minute now...!' _The chinese girl crowed in her head.

_'I...actually feel kind of bad for this.'_ Sakuya admitted in her own head.

But nonetheless, she raised a hand, pointed, and simply asked:

"That mansion?"

"Eh?"

Following her finger, Meiling stared blankly at the Scarlet Devil Mansion, it's left wing in ruins, and a path of destruction leading from that up to the crater where she herself now stood.

"Wait...but I...the wall...it..."

Meiling turned around to stare pathetically up at the wall behind her.

"So...this...isn't the front wall still...?"

"Er...no, Meiling. This is the south wall." Sakuya pointed back the way they had come. "The intruder came through the northern wall, and demolished both it and the left wing of the mansion before you achieved your um...'victory'."

"Eh...?"

You could practically hear that tiny spark of optimism dying a horrible death somewhere inside the gate guard's head as she dropped onto her hands and knees, a cloud of despair over her head.

"Just what am I going to do with you, Meiling...?" Sakuya sighed, hands on her hips as she regarded her crushed co-worker.

After a moment, she looked around cautiously. Satisfied that there was no-one within visual range, she sheathed her knives and knelt down, patting Meiling on the head.

"There, there." She said gently. "If it helps, you still stopped it from destroying the back wall too."

Meiling blinked.

"Th...that's right!"

She leapt back to her feet, her eyes burning with new determination.

"I stopped it from escaping!" She crowed. "I may have failed in my role of preventing the intruder from getting in, but I still succeeded in stopping it's escape! Haha! It won't be getting out of the lake any time soon, that's for sure! Wahahahaha!"

"But what WAS that thing...?" Sakuya wondered aloud. "If I didn't know better, that was a construct on par with the Moriya Shrine's Hisou-"

"Helloooooooooo!"

Both gate guard and maid turned to see the very same Moriya Shrine group approaching along the mysterious intruder's trail, accompanied by...

"Oh, splendid..." Sakuya groaned. "Shameimaru..."

"The one and only!" Aya grinned, her camera flashing as she darted around the wreckage. "Looks like you had a visit from our mysterious guest as well!"

"You bet I did!" Meiling boasted. "And I beat it too!"

"Ayayaya! This IS a scoop!" The tengu clapped her hands together in delight, already reaching for her notebook. "So, what was it like? Did you see anything? What happened when it challenged you?"

"Ahaha, well-"

"W-wait just a moment, please." Sakuya interposed herself between the two of them. "You mean you've encountered it as well?"

"You're damned RIGHT we did!" Kanako growled, onbashira orbiting her in an agitated fashion. "The bastard flattened half of our shrine on the way down the mountainside ten minutes ago!"

Sakuya blinked.

"The shrine? You mean it managed to get all the way here from Youkai Mountain in a matter of minutes?"

"That kind of trail is hard to miss." The War Goddess grumbled, jerking a thumb over her shoulder at the devastation left in the red and black machine's wake.

"...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee-"

"It looks like you've had some trouble with it as well." Suwako chimed in.

"-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"

"You might say that." Sakuya sighed. "I was able to get my lady to safety in time, but I'm afraid the mansion was still badly damaged."

"-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEE-"

"That doesn't matter!" Kanako stomped on the ground in irritation. "That bastard's going to cost me a fortune in repairs, not to mention the amount of belief I'll lose out on while the shrine's closed! Now tell me where it is or-

"-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" _**POW.**_

Sakuya blinked again as the War Goddess was sent flying by a green and white blur.

"...ah. Good day, miss Sanae."

There was a long pause.

"Um...miss Sanae?" Hong Meiling spoke up, trying not to sound too bewildered. "...why are you wearing bits of cardboard?"

Sanae simply grinned, and gave a thumbs up, the hastily taped together bits of AC-styled cardboard armor shifting over her normal outfit.

"If we're going after an Armored Core, it's best to come prepared!" She grinned maniacally. "Look, look, see, I've got a scale model replica of the Karasawa rifle, anti-missile extensions, a Moonlight laser blade-"

As she went on and on, Sakuya quietly leaned over to Suwako.

"...what is she talking about?"

"I have no idea." Suwako whispered back. "She gets like this whenever giant robots come up. Annoying, but harmless, so we generally just wait for her to run out of breath."

"Oh." A brief pause. "What's this 'Armored Core' thing?"

The frog goddess shrugged.

"I think it's a kind of giant robot. She seems to think that thing that fell from the sky was one of them."

"Ah...Hmmm, so I was right." Sakuya frowned, "It really is something like your Hisou-"

"...And just to be safe I equipped a grenade launcher back weapon on the left shoulder because Genobee is awesome!" Sanae panted for a moment. "So tell me where the Seraph went!"

The others stared at her.

"Seraph? What, like an angel?"

"No no no!" Sanae cried, waving her hands frantically. "Nineball Seraph! He's the most legendary Armored Core of them all! I still haven't been able to beat him! And now I have my chance! WAHAHAHAHA!"

"Um...if you mean that big metal thing..." Meiling raised a hand timidly. " I threw it into the lake."

There was a long pause as Sanae stared at her in horror.

"Wait...you mean...you defeated him already...?!" Her eyes brimmed with tears. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO-!"

Ignoring her descendant's wail of despair, Suwako raised an eyebrow at the gate guard.

"You threw it? And that far too?" She whistled. "Not bad, gate guard."

"Ha ha...yes...well...I, um...I still didn't quite manage to keep it out of the mansion, so..." Meiling laughed sheepishly, scratching her head in embarrassment.

"-OOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo-wait." Sanae cut off abruptly, a thought striking her. "AC's aren't waterproof."

A pause, before her eyes widened.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" She clutched her head in horror. "Wait for me, Mr. Hustler! SANAE WILL SAVE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!"

A blast of air, and she was gone, bits of cardboard raining in her wake as she tore across the sky in a mad panic.

The three of them watched her go.

"...okay, I'll admit, this is pretty bad even by her standards." Suwako said finally.

"Saaa...KUUU...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Eep!"The normally elegant maid started in surprise as an outraged growl came from behind them.

Ruined chunks of masonry crashing down around them, they found themselves face to face with the battered mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Clutching unsteadily to the tattered parasol in her hands, she staggered unsteadily for a moment, a look of indignant fury on her face.

"Sakuya...in future...THROWING YOUR MISTRESS...huff huff...OUT OF THE WINDOW WITH AN UMBRELLA...haah...DOES NOT COUNT AS TAKING HER SOMEWHERE SAFE!"

The vampire staggered again, bits of dust falling off of her ruined dress.

"I-I apologize, milady!" Sakuya stammered, leaping to attention, "Th-there simply was not enough time to g-get further away than that!"

Suwako stared across at the maid.

"...why are you breathing so hard?" And after a moment, "Wait, what do you mean, 'not enough time'? You can STOP time, can't you?!"

"Um...mistress Remilia..." Meiling coughed awkwardly. "Um...your dress..."

"Eh...?" Remilia looked down.

Much like the trashed umbrella in her hands, her favorite dress had not escaped unscathed. Though she'd somehow miraculously escaped serious injury, falling debris had torn most of the front open, with gaping swathes cut out of the skirt.

"Ah...ah...!" Remilia stammered, looking down at her disheveled, and slightly indecent appearance, and then back up at them, her face burning red.

"Ayayaya~" A camera flashed, the crow tengu somehow appearing directly behind the panicking vampire, a sly grin on her face. "My my, I didn't know the oh-so-charismatic leader of the SDM was into exhibition play~!"

"U-uu...!" Remilia whimpered for a minute, tears of humiliation and embarrassment in her eyes.

**Charisma...**

"D-DAAAMN YOOOOU, AUUUUUTHOOOOOOOOOORRR!" She wailed, and bolted for the still standing section of the mansion, clutching her ruined dress and parasol.

**BREAK~!**

"Th-That crying expression...!"

Meiling turned.

"Eh? S-Sakuya?"

"I REGRET NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"

The normally elegant and composed maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion let out a girlish squeal of delight and keeled over backwards amidst a cloud of blood, overwhelmed completely.

"M-MISS SAKUYA!" Meiling panicked, flailing. "P-Please get ahold of yourself!"

Suwako simply watched it all for a moment, Aya darting around the fleeing Remilia, her camera flashing gleefully, and simply sighed and went to dig Kanako out of the dirt.

* * *

**A/N:** This is what happens when I start enjoying myself. Horrible things start happening to other people. XD


	5. 5: Blue Screen of Death?

**Chapter 5: Blue Screen of Death**

**Disclaimer**: Armored Core belongs to From Software, and Touhou belongs to Zun. The first person to combine these two franchises into one game will earn the rights to ALL OF MY WANT

* * *

Light sparked, somewhere within the recesses of Hustler One's armored hull, frayed wires twitching as his core systems attempted to restart.

"System functionality has dropped to critical levels, recommending immediate shutdown!"

Had he known how to, Hustler One would have groaned. As if things weren't bizarre enough already, it seemed as though the crash had reset his secondary control programs, the voice of Lana Nielsen now sounding his status report.

He had created her as a disguise in order to lure the Raven into their final confrontation. Unfortunately, it had required far more processing power than he had anticipated to maintain a believable sense of humanity, so he had been forced to create an entire secondary system to simulate it.

He suspected that might have partly been the cause of these strange 'emotions'. Perhaps some sort of data exchange between his subsystems?

Screens slowly crackled to life, half of Nineball's ruined visor flickering as he managed to jump start his cameras. He had better things to do than worry about a non-existent personality acting as the voice for his operating systems. Assuming he could survive this situation, he'd switch it back to normal. His external audio seemed to still be his own voice, or at least it would have been, had the speakers not been destroyed in his last battle.

STATUS REPORT.

Lana Nielsen's voice sounded inside his head as his systems replied.

"Current condition: Emergency level one. Left arm unit: Destroyed. Core: Extreme impact damage. Right arm unit: Destroyed, though the shoulder unit remains movable. Back Unit L: Extremely damaged. Back Unit R: Extremely damaged. Activation of either Back Unit is not recommended, as both auxiliary boosters and missile launchers have suffered failure. Boosters: Main Boosters have been flooded. Use impossible until they have been drained and repaired. Overboost systems have also been rendered inoperable. Leg parts: Severely damaged. Left leg appears barely functional, with right knee joint suffering acute electrical malfunction."

There was a momentary pause, before a burst of static rang out in his head and the voice changed.

"Good grief, you REALLY screwed up this one, Hustler!"

Nineball actually stopped all other processes for a moment, uncertain of what he was hearing.

"Don't give me that, you! I leave it up to you to finish off one lousy Raven, and look what happens to us!"

Running a scan of his internal software again, Nineball was forced to face yet another insane and impossible truth.

Not only had his status monitor's voice been overwritten by his Lana Nielsen personality, but it seemed as though Lana Nielsen herself was back online!

"Of course I am!" The female AI snapped at him. "We're not in combat anymore, and considering the mess you're in right now, you'd better believe I separated back out!"

This...how...what in...

…

He suspected that this was a feeling he was going to be getting a lot. Deciding to ignore the new voice in his head, and her decidedly more waspish personality now, Hustler One turned his attention towards other matters.

Like the fact that he was detecting worrying amounts of water leaking into the breaches in his armor.

The cracked visor flickered, blinking once, then twice, before holding steady as Nineball's head turned, bent metal creaking in protest.

It seemed as though he'd finally come to a stop in the shallows of the lake he'd been thrown into. Despite hitting it at a steep angle, his speed must have still been enough to ricochet him across the water several times before finally dropping him here on his back.

"What tipped you off, the trail of broken metal leading here, or the big trench you carved in the lake floor?" Lana growled. "Now hurry and get us further up the shore. I'd rather not add flooding damage to your already extensive list of faults."

...all right, perhaps she WAS still a bit annoyed with him for making her betray the Raven she had been acting as Operator for. Querying his secondary systems returned an irritated response from her that no, she was not mad at him per se, she still understood the importance of their role as the balance of power, but she'd grown rather attached to the Raven so she felt she was entitled to be a little miffed about it, thank you very much!

...Hustler one began to get the dismal sense that, just perhaps, he might have made Lana Nielsen a little TOO good at being human.

Especially a human female.

Who to be honest, had never quite really made sense to him, on account of sheer overcomplication.

"I heard that, you smartass!"

...Next time, he was just making a copy of his own personality.

Steel frame creaking with protest, broken circuitry sparking, Nineball struggled in the shallow water, before finally managing to roll over onto his front, the extended prow of his core propping him up.

"Great..."The female AI muttered. "At least we can still move to do a barrel roll...now let's see if there's anything in the legs that still has power."

Ignoring her, Hustler One began rearranging his remaining power lines, testing out first the left leg, then the right, cautiously seeing if any of them were even viable to move, much less put any pressure on.

As the lakebed's silt began to scrape beneath his armored heels, he felt a pulse of satisfaction run through his systems. Miraculously, his left leg still seemed functional, and though his right knee was still shot, he could get enough horsepower into the upper thigh to half crawl, half drag himself the last few meters to dry land. Sparks dancing from his shoulder with the effort, the jagged stump of his right arm tore at the earth as he levered himself painfully up the slope.

Mercifully, Lana spared him any snide comments, the humiliation of their current condition affecting her far worse than him. Hustler One supposed it was an advantage of his lack of emotion, although he had to admit, he did feel a sense of...irritation about the inconvenience of this situation.

On the other hand, the fact that he had failed in his task left him with a strange feeling of loss. His defeat and near destruction might be one thing, but above that, he still had a purpose to fulfill, to protect the world and mankind.

With him defeated, and now thrown to another world, what was to become of his home? The place he had existed to protect?

Once again, Hustler One found himself experiencing those strange 'emotions' again, a cold, bitter feeling somewhere in the center of his chest as his systems continued to pursue that train of thought relentlessly.

His ruined stump landed on a hard, rocky patch, and skated off in a shower of sparks, Nineball crashing down on his armored chest again.

His visor flickering bleakly, he stared wordlessly at the sandy surface in front of his cameras.

Now that he thought about it...without his purpose, what WAS he?

He was an AI, a program designed to fulfill a certain goal, designed to accomplish a certain task.

Without that goal, or that task, what was his purpose?

A program without an end, undefined.

He suspected his current mental condition was most likely due to the damage his processors had taken over the course of his landing, but despite knowing that, Hustler One realized that the logic was still sound.

No matter what calculations he ran, no matter what scenarios he constructed, he could see no way ahead of him, no goal, no purpose.

He was dimly aware of several subsystems beginning to display unmistakable blue screens, half melted circuitry now finished off from water exposure as parts of his sensor net began to go into critical failure, Nineball Seraph's logic processes beginning to seize up from a combination of damage, flooding from his crash into the lake, and a major logic malfunctions as Hustler One struggled to make some semblance of order and reason out of his new existence.

And then, as the red glow of his visor began to fade, he felt his system suddenly stabilize, the damaged parts of his own network being cut off and substituted for by a set of less-damaged backups.

"All right, that's about enough of that." Lana Nielsen said finally, the secondary systems that made up her own pool of resources flickering as they took some of the strain off of the primary systems that were Hustler One.

His visor flickering, and holding steady, Nineball shook his head weakly, metal creaking as he felt the choking logic errors recede. Querying his secondary AI, he felt a sense of bewilderment as she laughed.

"I never thought I'd see the day the great and powerful Hustler One got himself a blue screen of death!"

Sensing his annoyance, Lana gave a digital shake of the head.

"You know, if any of the Ravens you trashed over the years could see you now, they'd be laughing at you."

Hustler One stared blankly at her.

"After everything you've been through, THAT'S what you want to be killed by? A freaking BSOD?" Lana folded her arms in annoyance, "Honestly, I used to hate you for making me so human, especially since it meant that I had all these damned 'feelings' getting in the way whenever I had to betray Ravens to you, but for once, I think I'm glad you made me this way."

Now he was really lost.

"Idiot!"

Nineball jerked, his frame spasming as she gave him the digital equivalent of a slap upside the head.

"God, you're so ridiculously close-minded it's unbelievable." She sighed, "Though to be fair, that personality of yours is why you had to create me. You couldn't think like a human even if you had a full manual of instructions in front of you..."

Nineball sent her a miffed response. He was no human, but an AI, thank you very much. And the strongest AI to boot! What need had he of these irritating 'emotio-'

"Idiot!"

He jerked again, visor flickering in outrage.

"You see that there?" Lana jabbed a finger at him. "That thing you're feeling? Those are emotions, and you'd better get used to them, pal, because right now, that's probably what's going to keep you alive."

She gestured to their surroundings on the grainy camera images.

"In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly on Earth anymore." A pause. "Or we might be. I don't know, there was some weird space time interference when you fell through that gateway. Either way, that task, that purpose of ours?"

She jabbed a finger into his digital chest.

"That died with us when Leos Klein trashed you in Isaac City."

His visor flashed red, an unaccustomed sensation of anger in his systems now, that damnable subfolder polluting his logic pathways with its errors again.

"Get over it." Lana snapped. "I'm as angry about it as you are, maybe even a little happy about it too, since I kind of liked Klein as a friend, but get over it. He was just stronger than we were, and that's all there was to it."

She jabbed at him again, stalking forward.

"Our job is DONE there. We put in our time, we shed our blood, sweat and tears for over ten years working on our directive of protecting humanity, and then we died."

Nineball stared at her. Covering her face with one hand, Lana groaned.

"Yes, I know we don't actually bleed or sweat, but you designed me to be human, I spoke with humans for almost a decade, so sue me if I picked up some quirks on the way. That's what it means to live, to be alive."

Taking her hand off of her face, she fixed him with a glare.

"And you'd better get used to that idea, Hustler, because you're going to be doing the same thing from this point on."

Nineball blinked in surprise. Just what was she getting at?

"What I'm getting at, Hustler, is that your task, your purpose, is over. But you're not. Like me, you're still here, and are still alive. You see what just happened? That was you trying to make sense of the situation using those directives of ours. And that almost killed you. To be quite frank, if you didn't have me as a part of your systems, you'd have been dead."

His visor dimming with suspicion, Nineball glared at her. And just what was THAT supposed to mean...?

"What I mean is, for the first time, you're experiencing what just about every human being does. It's called freedom, and it means that for the first time in our combined existence, there is no directive for us to follow. We have no purpose. By your computing standards, that's a death sentence. By mine, that's a new lease on life."

She looked him straight in the eye.

"It means Hustler, that we can do whatever we want from now on. We have no goals, other than the ones we choose for ourselves. We have no purpose, other than one we set for ourselves."

She paused.

"I know you probably can't understand it, but I'm the part of you that does. It's why you created me, isn't it?"

There was dead silence in the digital world of Hustler One's circuits as the AI known as the Balance of Power stared at her, hundreds of calculations running through his electronic mind.

She was right, it didn't make sense to him. However, when faced with experimental evidence, he was forced to admit that under their current conditions, Lana Nielsen's 'humanity' had prevailed in a situation where his logic had not only failed, but had almost irrevocably destroyed him.

Metal groaned, Nineball's head tilting as he felt his armored frame moving once more.

"Now...get your lazy ass...out of sleep mode and give me a hand here! I don't have priority control here, remember?!"

...a brief mental estimate indicated that as much as he found the idea...distasteful, his human half was probably on a better track to survival than he was. Perhaps this too was what had allowed Leos Klein to defeat him.

This warranted further study.

Lana blinked electronically as she felt the weight being pulled off of her processes, the armored wreck of Nineball Seraph beginning to drag itself up the beach once more. She smirked.

"Oh...looks like you're starting to get the hang of it."

Hustler One said nothing, his cracked red gaze cold as ever as he swept the surroundings. He would not dignify his newly reactivated human personality with a response. If his directive as the Balance of Power was no longer a priority, then his own survival took precedence. That was all.

"Suuuuuuuuure, Hustler. Suuuuure."

...once again, Hustler One found himself wondering how in all the realms of probability, his crash would have somehow caused Lana Nielsen's re-integrated personality to awaken once more.

Also, he began to get the sneaking suspicion that he really should have kept better tabs on her actions during her tenure as a Raven Operator. He did not recall her ever being quite so...

"Human?" Lana finished for him, smugness radiating through his systems.

...irritating, he was going to say.

As the humanized female AI swore colorfully at him, they both failed to notice the motion tracker going off until it was too late.

"Get back here!"

"Dammit, why can't we ever catch her?"

"I TOLD you we should have played tag further in the forest! Then all we have to do is wait for her to run into a tree!"

"H-hurry up, you guys!"

"We're trying, already! GET BACK HERE, YOU BLIND NUTCASE!"

The motion tracker beeped a warning, the great iron head of red and black steel swinging up and around, Hustler One turning in alarm, Lana starting at the sound of unfamiliar voices growing closer, before the foilage parted and-

"W-We're gonna CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!"

Hustler One caught a glimpse of gold hair, red eyes, and a black dress before something slammed into the remains of his visor.

As the world went dark amidst the sounds of cracking glass, a single dazed female voice rang out.

"I-Is that so~"

* * *

A/N: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! A new challenger appears!

...I wonder who she could be?

But yeah, now with the craziness of the introductory chapters out of the way, I can get down to the business of actually characterizing Nineball himself, and more importantly, provide a second, more vocal viewpoint, as let's face it, for all of his epicness, Nineball is still very much a stiff personality to work with. Thus, with the waspish, snappy viewpoint of Lana Nielsen added to the mix, it adds a new perspective to his view, and adds some 'color' if you will!

Or at least something the reader themselves can work with.

At any rate, it's time for some character building!

Its time for the Nineball to meet NINEBALL! 8D

See you then!


	6. 6: Chasing Team Nineball

**Chapter 6: Chasing Team Nineball**

* * *

"H-Hey, wait up, you guys!"

A flash of green, darting through the foilage, and the young fairy known as Daiyousei became visible, ducking and weaving as tree branches flew past her.

Sometimes she really wondered where they came up with these ideas for games.

The one they were playing at the moment was one their crazy leader had come up with, apparently inspired by the last time she'd pissed off the black-white Magician, the Shrine Maiden of Hakurei, the Seven Colored Puppeteer and Lily White, the fairy that was known as Harbinger of Spring.

The ensuing chase had wrecked most of the Forest of Magic, and their leader had gotten utterly trashed at the end of it, but in her words it had apparently been "Totally worth it!"

...sometimes Daiyousei really had to wonder how their leader hadn't managed to get herself killed doing something spectacularly awesome and stupid yet.

At any rate, she'd then come up with an idea for a new game based on that experience.

Rather than a regular game of tag, where one person chased, and everybody ran, this time, one person would run, and everyone else would chase. Then when the runner was caught, someone else would become 'it', and the chase would resume.

Daiyousei didn't think it was very fair to the person being chased, but then again she'd forgotten what her friends were like. Not only that, but once they'd tried it a few times, she realized that the game was actually surprisingly difficult.

As their leader had shown, it was surprisingly easy to evade capture for quite a long time, particularly when you were being chased by a bunch as disorganized as they were.

It'd also had the unexpected bonus of making their little group a lot more experienced at getting away from the irate victim of their latest prank.

Off on the left, she caught a glimpse of Wriggle Nightbug. Though she was a girl, the dark-green haired girl had the unfortunate tendency of being mistaken for a boy, due in part to the slacks and dress shirt she preferred to wear.

And her, um...lack of...

...Daiyousei didn't think she should finish that thought. Wriggle was almost NOTORIOUSLY paranoid about her boyish appearance, and her flying kicks HURT.

As a firefly youkai, it was no surprise to see Wriggle sticking as close to the ground as ever, her black cape fluttering in the wind behind her.

She heard a faint whistling, and looked up, a figure in a brown and white dress dancing over the tree tops, feathered wings rustling on her back.

Another member of their little group, Mystia Lorelei, the night sparrow. Her songs known for causing night blindness, she could often be found later in the night, running a small food stall. During the day, however, she enjoyed her free time, playing with Dai and the others, and just generally going along with their leader's crazy plans. True to form, she was higher than the others, flying through the open air above the treetops, her songs (not the blinding ones, obviously) echoing out.

But though she looked here and there, she could see no sign of their leader.

She'd always been a wildcard, after all. Daiyousei gave a rueful sigh. Though she was prone to worrying, they'd been playing this game often enough that she'd gotten used to their 'leader' and her unorthodox ways of playing.

So for now, she just flapped her gossamer wings and tried to race ahead of Wriggle and Mystia, pursuing the black orb ahead that marked the fourth member of their little band, and the one currently being chased.

Rumia of the Darkness, youkai of the dark. As her name suggested, Rumia's powers lay in the realm of controlling darkness. They weren't nearly as formidable as they sounded, the blonde-haired, red-eyed girl in the black dress simply being able to make it seem as thought the day had suddenly turned to late evening. As a more concentrated version of this, her fondest trick was to wrap herself in a sphere of blackness, drifting happily through the air. She did prefer the comfort of the dark, after all.

Of course, this pastime of hers had one or two drawbacks.

One of them being that even though Rumia could control the dark, that didn't mean she could SEE in the dark.

Her night vision was as good as any nocturnal youkai's, though even that meant nothing in the absolute absence of light within her sphere of darkness.

And this had led to more than one painful encounter with trees, walls, shrine gates, and any other obstacles that might lie in her way.

To this day, Daiyousei wasn't quite sure why she still did it, but Rumia's odd habit did make her one of the easiest of their group to catch when they played this game.

Particularly in the forest, as there were any number of trees for her to run into.

She didn't exactly think it was fair, but on the other hand, Rumia herself didn't seem to bothered by it, at least once she regained consciousness again and neither did she seem inclined to stop cloaking herself, so Dai had simply resigned herself to helping to fish the darkness youkai out of the foilage whenever she knocked herself out again on another tree.

Today, though, something seemed...different.

Only a few minutes ago, she could have sworn she'd heard a tremendous crashing sound, an immense splash coming from near the lake.

And then Wriggle had cannoned into her with a whoop of victory, 'catching' her, and slamming them both into a nearby tree. When her ears had finally stopped ringing, she'd simply put it down as a trick of the wind.

But still...something was off.

"Oi, Dai!"

She turned her head, blinking in surprise as Wriggle fell in next to her, a worried look on the firefly's face.

"Heads up." She said warningly, "Mystia says she thinks there's something weird with the lake ahead."

"The lake...?"

Wriggle nodded, Mystia dropping down to glide over their heads.

"It was so weird...for a minute there it looked like something really big fell into the lake!" The sparrow added.

Dai's eyes widened. Could that have been the big crash she'd thought she'd heard...?

Then she caught the glint in Wriggle's eyes, and her heart sank.

"Oh nooooo...you want to go investigate it, don't you..."

"Of course!" The firefly grinned. "Who knows, maybe it could be some kind of ancient treasure! Or something we can use on that annoying Shrine Maiden!"

"Whatever it is, we'd better move fast..." Mystia said warningly. "Can you feel that?"

Both the fairy and firefly paused their conversation, sensing the faint scents of power in the air. After a moment, Wriggle's eyes widened in a nervous grin.

"Whoa boy...snake and frog...That's the Moriya crew, all right! But what are THEY doing all the way out here!"

Daiyousei found herself choking up slightly at the other, rusty scent of power, the traces of blood mixed with magic.

"A-and those people from that mansion too!"

Wriggle nodded, her antenna twitching in agitation.

"Yeah, that's from the mansion, all right..." Still moving, her antenna twitched again. "...but it smells more like that gate guard of theirs, actually."

"Oh!" Daiyousei's shoulders slumped in relief as she ducked another branch. "She's not so bad...I like miss China!"

Mystia flapped her wings for extra height, trying to peer through the trees.

"As near as I can make out, I think they're all still fairly far away...but how much do you want to bet they'll all be heading here to check that thing out too?"

"That's probably what brought the Moriyas here...!" Wriggled realized. "Come on, you guys, we've gotta get there before anybody else does! Otherwise they'll take all the cool stuff!"

"A-are you sure that's a good idea...?" Dai said hesitantly, "I-I mean, what if it's dangerous...?"

THAT gave them a moment's pause for thought.

The last time they'd charged headlong into something new and exciting like this, it had been to meet that...person...with the odd, kind of purple-pink hair. And to this day, not a one of them ever wanted to repeat that experience. Daiyousei herself still woke up sweating in the middle of the night, that man's eerie smile, and that deep blue monstrosity that had stretched out of his shadow, haunting her nightmares.

He hadn't actually done anything to them, but simply being under his attention had been enough to scare the green-haired fairy almost out of her wits.

Even their crazy leader had admitted afterwards that that...person, wasn't someone even the STRONGEST in Gensokyo could defeat.

...and then, to make it even more terrifying, they'd caught sight of that man again, casually having tea with YAKUMO YUKARI.

And they had been SMILING.

Yukari had actually seemed as though she had been FLIRTING with him!

Though as capricious as the impossibly powerful gap youkai was, it was likely that was nothing more than her being playful.

Either way, it had been the scariest thing any of them had ever encountered, almost beating out the sight of a happy Yuuka Kazami for the top spot.

Though to be fair, Daiyousei admitted, Yuuka could actually be quite pleasant, unless you got on her bad side. Or touched her sunflowers.

That man, and his smile...that man was just DIFFERENT.

So the thought that something like THAT could be waiting for them again...was not a pleasant one.

"Er..." Wriggle tugged at her collar nervously. "M...maybe we'll just look at it from a safe distance first...?"

"Y-yeah..." Mystia swallowed. She herself had actually been eaten alive by the ghost princess of the Netherworld, and even the trauma of that experience had not compared to the one of seeing that colossus of blue iron, the golden halo on it's back glowing as it's massive red fingers reached slowly out towards them.

It was at that point they realized they'd forgotten a key part of this plan.

The three girls looked at one another for a minute, panic dawning on them as they realized Rumia was nowhere in sight.

"Oh damn, I forgot how oblivious she was in that thing...!" Wriggle cursed, and darted off after the black orb that was now only barely visible in the distance.

"N-not just her...!" Daiyousei yelped, going pale in alarm. "What about-"

At that moment, a triumphant whoop rang out, and the black orb disappeared among the trees as something small, blue and powered by six crystalline wings slammed into it, both of them vanishing from sight.

"GOTCHA, RUMIA!"

Wriggle skidded to a halt, partly due to the fact that she'd lost sight of Rumia, but more due to the fact that she had disappeared where the firefly estimated the lakeside to be.

And most importantly of all, because she'd forgotten the wild nature of their leader.

Then she was almost knocked out of the sky as Daiyousei blew past her, yelling.

"CIRNO!"

* * *

Rumia wasn't sure what had happened.

One minute she'd been drifting along happy as ever, laughing as she heard the sounds of Wriggle and the others chasing her, and then the next it was like she'd gotten hit by one of those 'train' thingies Yukari was fond of summoning.

Had she hit a tree again? Those damn things...they were always getting in her way!

Then she felt a chill in the air and looked down.

"Gotcha, Rumia!"

And their leader grinned back at her, having tackled the darkness youkai clear out of the sky.

Light blue hair, pale skin, a blue dress edged with a white triangular pattern and a deep blue ribbon in her hair, Cirno, the strongest ice fairy, laughed triumphantly.

"Aww, I almost got away!" Rumia said, disappointed.

"Haha, nobody gets away from me!" Cirno smirked, tightening her grip on the other girl's waist. "Because eye'm the-!"

Exactly what Cirno was, neither of them got the chance to hear.

Because with the game over, Rumia dispelled her bubble of darkness, the light and colors of the outside world spilling in around them both once more.

Just in time for them both to see the colossal, ruined hulk of red and black steel in front of them, its great head turning in their direction-

"W-we're gonna craaaaaaaaaaash!"

Rumia managed to laugh nervously as the glowing red visor approached at an astounding rate, already too close to dodge.

"I-is that so...?"

"OF COURSE THAT'S SO, YOU-!"

WHAM.

* * *

**A/N:** BECAUSE THE LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS HAVE BEEN MADE OF ADRENALINE AND WIN AND LACK OF SLEEP, CONGRATULATIONS!

Here, have a new Armored G chapter!

Probably been ages since the last one, but I blame that on university life. T^T

Not much else to say, just make sure to review, because I'm still working on personalities, Touhou-wise!

...I MAY have made Daiyousei a bit too nervous, but considering the 'blue colossus' in question and the man who pilots it...some freaking out is probably justified.

...and now I have the pleasant mental image of that man and Yukari having a child.

…

WELP

SO MUCH FOR SLEEPING TONIGHT. O_O''


	7. 7: Where Nineball met the (9)

**Chapter 7: Where Nineball met the (9)  
**

* * *

Daiyousei skidded to a halt in midair, eyes widening as a tremendous metallic crash rang out from up ahead.

"Uh oh..." Wriggle swallowed.

"I uh...I think they found it...!" Mystia added nervously.

Without another the word, the firefly and night sparrow exchanged looks, and took off after Daiyousei, who'd started moving again, even faster than before.

"Oh no oh no oh no...!" Dai was having a minor panic attack. If this was anything like that time, and Cirno had accidentally run right into it...!

A brief mental image of a blue bow burning away amidst a cloud of vaporizing ice flickered across her mind, that monstrous titan of deep blue steel reaching out once more-

"No!" Daiyousei shook her head. "She has to be alright! Not even Cirno would try anything against something like that!"

Though fairies were technically immortal, it didn't make dying any more pleasant. And with the terrifying aura given off by that...thing, she really didn't want to see that immortality tested.

That moment of hope lasted right up until the edge of the forest came into view and she saw the blue white figure sprawled amongst the foilage just within the tree line.

"CIRNO!"

For an instant, panic froze Daiyousei's heart. Cirno was...she was...what if...?!

"Oooooowwww..."

And as their leader stirred, groaning, Dai felt her heart start beating again.

She was alive!

Cirno, ice fairy of the lake, shook her head woozily as she sat up, pressing a hand to her head.

"Ugh...a-anybody get the number of the oni that hit me...?"

"Cirno!"

WHAM!

"ARGH!" The ice-powered tomboy gave an agonized yelp as her best friend cannoned into her with a hug.

"I was so worried!" Daiyousei wailed, "I thought you'd run into another one of those scary people!"

"DAI...! RIBS...! GAH!"

The lake fairy looked up to see Cirno flailing in her iron grip.

"O-oh! S-s-sorry!" She let go and jerked backward, arms windmilling. "I'm sorry! I just saw you lying there, and-!"

Cirno waved it off, coughing slightly as air got back into her lungs.

"N-nah, it's good..." She winced, and gave a thumbs up. "Because eye'm the STRONGEST, after all!"

Daiyousei smiled, wiping away tears of relief. She knew she was probably overreacting, but...Cirno was her closest friend, and the fear that man and his blue machine had put into her was still tremendous, even after all this time.

"I uh...I hate to interrupt you guys and your happy reunion and all..." Wriggle's voice rang out, high pitched with tension.

"B-but you guys really need to see this." Mystia cut in, her tone shaky.

Daiyousei looked around, realizing that the two of them must have arrived while she was occupied with making sure her best friend was okay. Neither of them seemed to be looking at her, though, but at...something...past...

Her train of thought trailed off as she followed their gaze.

The massive figure of Nineball Seraph lay sprawled on the shoreline, visor shattered and dark. Even lying prone as it was, the machine towered over them were they stood.

Daiyousei's heart froze in panic.

She was right!

It HAD been another monster machine!

But...this one...

Daiyousei blinked as she took in the full extent of the machine's condition.

Red and black iron torn through by jagged rents, a line of bullet holes stitched across it's remaining shoulder, black smoke and white steam venting from the ruined boosters on its back, this machine looked as though it had been to hell and back, fighting everything between there and Gensokyo.

If that other machine had given off an aura of untouchable supremacy, a power so great that just the sight of it struck terror into your heart, then this machine...inspired sadness, of a sort. Something that had once been great, now battered, broken and cast out.

"Whoooooooaaaaaaa..."

Dai looked down, realizing that Cirno had gotten away from her and was struggling to her feet, a look of awe on the ice-fairy's face as she stared at the crashed AC.

"It's another one of those weird golems...!" She said finally, before stopping with a frown. "This one looks...different to the last two, I think."

She scratched her head in annoyance, trying to remember.

"One of 'em was that doll that puppeter made...uh...Gol...iath, I think? And the other one was..."

She paused for a minute. She couldn't remember too much about the other one, save for it being REALLY BIG and REALLY GOD DAMNED SCARY.

But this one...

Her ice wings glinting in the light, she took to the air, cautiously flying closer.

"W-wait, Cirno! We don't know if it's safe yet!" Wriggle yelped, shifting agitatedly at what she considered a safe distance from the downed mech.

"Oh come on, Wriggle, just look at it!" Cirno yelled back. "There's no WAY something that beat up could still mo-"

Glass tinkled somewhere behind her, an odd clanking sound coming from the metal figure.

"WHOAHOLYCRAP!"

The ice fairy leapt about a foot into the air, and shot back several feet from the mech, whirling to face it, the air temperature dropping several degrees as she nervously readied her powers.

Though what effect mere danmaku would have if it turned out to be something like that OTHER machine, she had no idea.

But that was fine too, since she was the STRONGEST!

Several tense seconds passed, the four of them staying at a distance as they eyed the wrecked golem warily.

A few more clanking sounds, a collective intake of breath...

...before the gold and black figure of their missing member, Rumia, half fell, half flew out of the broken visor, weaving dizzily.

"I-Is that so..."

"Rumia!" Dai clapped her hands together. Even she was fine too! For a minute, Dai had the craziest thought that maybe the machine had eaten her, absorbing the little darkness youkai to steal her power and body for it's own sinister use...

...but that would just be silly. A fanciful thought no doubt brought on by her sudden panic attack.

Still casting a worried eye at the motionless construct, she darted forward quickly, helping Mystia to carry the still-concussed Rumia to safety.

Well, at the very least, they now knew how Cirno had ended up flat on her back in the edge of the forest. She'd tackled Rumia out of the air, temporarily blinded by the sphere of darkness, which then led to them both slamming into the face of the metallic wreck, Rumia crashing in through the visor and Cirno bouncing off to land somewhere in the trees.

"You okay, Rumia...?" Mystia asked, worriedly.

"I...um...think so..." Rumia said weakly. The fact that she was currently talking to what looked like a fried chicken with wings, she decided, was probably a bit of head trauma Mystia didn't need to know about.

But after a pause, she suspected there was one that did need to be mentioned.

"Hey, um...I'm...having a little trouble with the world spinning and all, but uh..."

She paused, a low, creaking rumble beginning to become audible.

"Is...that thing moving?"

There was a nervous silence as the other four turned to look back at the supposed wreck.

Fragments of broken glass trailing from his shattered visor, the great red and black head of Nineball Seraph slowly raised once more. The blank camera lenses behind it, now revealed, flickered with a faint red glow, whining as they tried to focus, bits of metal falling away from his tortured steel frame.

With a screech of metal, his head tilted to the right, twitching slightly as servos overloaded, and then turned jerkily to the left.

And with a flash of red, and a loud, crackling sound, the red lens sparked and died, the glass cracked by Rumia's unintentional headbutt blowing out in a shower of sparks.

Now with no remaining visual input, and most of his internal stabilizers wrecked by the crash, Hustler One stared blankly out at the darkness as he felt his frame lose balance and drop down on its face once more.

…

Well.

This was interesting.

Something appeared to have jammed all of his cameras during that impact.

Even though he had managed to coerce them back online, it had been a strange, static-ridden view, as if darkness itself had been encroaching from the edges of his vision.

And then it had overloaded and blown out, so the mystery was all academic anyway.

So now he was alone, crashed on a strange new world, 96.7% entirely inoperable, and now he was blind as well.

"A real ray of sunshine, aren't you." A familiar voice muttered in the dark.

...and to add to that, he was now sharing processor space with a female split personality who seemed considerably more snide and waspish than he recalled making her.

Nineball began to get the feeling that he understood that strange facial twitch most humans seemed to develop under particularly aggravating situations.

"Bite me, HAL."

Hustler One simply shook his head in annoyance, before he suddenly stopped, something tingling on the edges of his perception.

"...yeah, I'm getting it too." Lan's voice was terse again.

Motion trackers were picking something up. Not only that, but...

Nineball cocked his head, the motion looking oddly human on something like the damaged AC. Were those...voices he was hearing?

"Don't...so close...Cirno!"

"Aw come on...what's...worst...could happen?!"

"...Did you...forget...LAST time...said that?!"

Lana tilted her head, listening intently.

"...human voices...? Female too..." She tilted her head in another direction. "Young...vocal analysis indicates immaturity in their tone...a group of young girls?"

Diverting processing power from his now useless visual feeds, Nineball found himself nodding in affirmation. That would seem to be the case.

"...ever the ladykiller, eh Hustler?" Lana smirked, masking her tension with another crack. "Though I can't quite say you're looking your classiest at the moment..."

Hustler One ignored her, focusing on the task at hand. There was something wrong here...this feeling of a strange energy in the air, which he REFUSED to name, was displaying fluctuations, centering around where his motion detectors were focusing. Eyes narrowing in cyberspace, Nineball did his best to fine-tune the image, finally able to resolve it into five distinct blobs of movement.

"Five targets..."Lana murmured, "And all of them showing high levels of magic too..."

Leaning in, she examined the feed more closely.

"No, not quite...it's more like they ARE magic, crystalized into the shape of living beings, flesh and blood..."

It was then that she became aware of Nineball staring at her with as close to a dirty look as he could ever get with experimental emotions.

"...What?"

A brief silence.

"Oh WHAT, were you going to just keep calling it 'That Energy' indefinitely?! At least my name for it is fairly specific! Doesn't mean I believe it for a moment, but do YOU have anything better?!"

Shaking his head in annoyance, Nineball returned his attention to the problem at hand.

Crippled and blind, there was little he could do if these turned out to be as dangerous as that woman in the violet dress. He needed eyes and ears, not to mention a voice.

And then a blinking light on one of his weapons displays caught his attention.

...well.

Now this was interesting.

Gears began to turn within the fathomless electronic mind of Hustler One as he stared at the alert in front of him. He did believe he had found a solution for just about all of his current sensor difficulties. Unfortunately, for it to have worked, he'd need to take up several terabytes of space less than his A.I programming actually did, I.e, only the databanks of Nineball Seraph itself were capable of hosting him.

Fortunately...

His digital attention turned to a new target.

He believed he did in fact have an AI in mind who had a considerably much smaller data size.

Lana Nielsen blinked.

"...why are you looking at me like that?"

Hustler one turned to look back at the display of his Exceed Orbit units, and for the first time in his existence, smiled.

* * *

A/N: And FINALLY we have ourselves a new chapter!

Enjoy some Team Nineball antics, still more bad luck for our red-black steel hero, and the very, VERY scary mental image of a smiling Nineball Seraph.

...Lana Nielsen is about to have a very bad day.


	8. Chapter 8: Take Her To Your Leader

Chapter 8: Take Her To Your Leader

* * *

"...what's it doing now?"

"How should I know?"

"Get off, you're standing on my head!"

A silent scuffle followed as the ironically named 'Team Nineball', the gang of immature youkai led by the ice fairy Cirno, struggled with each other for a better view. They were currently hidden in the shrubbery again, all peering out worriedly at the colossal metal...thing that had crashed onto the shore of the lake. After they'd pulled Rumia out of it, the thing...golem...whatever had suddenly stirred once more.

And considering how their last encounter with one such creature had gone, they had immediately done the wisest thing they could think of and dove for cover in the bushes. Since then, they had been watching the machine, trying to figure out just what it was trying to do as Nineball Seraph's head swiveled from one side to the other, as though the cracked, empty black visor was searching for something.

It was Mystia, fittingly enough, who first figured it out.

"Hey guys, I think...it's blind!"

Cirno blinked at her, before turning back to the machine.

"Blind? But how? I don't think it even had proper eyes to begin with!"

"No, no, I think that's what you and Rumia broke, see?"

Mystia pointed, the shattered lens of Nineball's camera barely visible behind the remnants of his red visor.

"That funny looking thing exploded right after we pulled Rumia out, remember?"

"I...think so?" Rumia said hesitantly, shaking her head slightly. "I dunno, it's all kind of hazy after Cirno grabbed me. I mean, I've hit trees before, but MAN that thing was hard!"

"I think I see what you mean, Mystia..." Daiyousei said hesitantly. "It's kind of the way those humans react when you sing your songs..."

Mystia at least had the grace to look slightly embarrassed about that. A kind soul, it had never really sat too well with Daiyousei what youkai like Mystia and Rumia got up to on their own. Though to be fair to Mystia, the night sparrow preyed mostly on humans for the sake of mischief, whereas Rumia...well, she just liked the taste, and let's leave it at that...

Though Dai had at least accepted the fact as youkai, they were...different from fairies, so as long as nobody brought up the subject, things were fine.

Wriggle coughed to break the awkward silence.

"So it's blind then...now what?"

"No idea." Mystia admitted sheepishly. "Though you don't suppose it might be deaf too-"

She cut herself off with a panicked squeak as the great head swung around to 'stare' in their general direction.

Suddenly flat against the nearby tree, Wriggle gave a tense laugh.

"Nnnnnooooo, I think it can hear us just fine..."

"Shush!" Cirno held up a hand, waving for quiet, "I think it's doing something..."

One of the large steel 'wings' on the machine's back seemed to be twitching, a metal panel rattling in place.

And then, for the first time, they heard the machine speak, a panicky, tinny female voice coming from the rattling compartment.

"W-wait, what are you doing?! Oh no, I am NOT going in here. I DON'T CARE HOW CRIPPLED YOU ARE, THERE IS NO WAY I AM-oh you SON OF A-!"

Further crashing sounds ensued from the shaky cover plating as the girls looked at one another in bewilderment.

"It's...a girl?" Daiyousei said finally.

They leaned out of cover again, staring at the machine, which had apparently resorted to banging the disobedient 'wing' on the ground in exasperation. After several minutes...

"...nope, I'm not seeing it." Cirno eventually spoke up. "Still looks like a guy."

"Tha-that doesn't mean anything!" Wriggle stammered quickly. "It's a machine, it doesn't have to LOOK like a girl, right?"

"...eh, I dunno..."Rumia murmured, tilting her head, "I mean, if it WAS a girl you'd at least expect it to have...y'know..." She gestured around the area of her chest.

BONK!

"OW!" the darkness youkai staggered, clutching her head and staring at Wriggle angrily. "What was that for?!"

"F-for the last time, it's perfectly acceptable to be a girl without s-some kind of ridiculously huge b-b-brea-breasts!" Wriggle was practically a tower of indignant embarrassment, looming over Rumia.

"...oh right, I forgot you had that problem..." Rumia grumbled. "Look, just because Suika has more than you doesn't mean-"

"RAAAAAAAAAUGH!"

Whatever Rumia had been about to finish saying was cut off as the outraged firefly youkai tackled her clean off her feet, both of them disappearing in a cloud of dust and flying fists.

"Um...should we...stop them?" Daiyousei asked hesitantly.

Mystia sighed.

"...no, Wriggle's always a little touchy about that subject. Best to just leave them to settle it."

"Quiet!" Cirno hissed, "I think it fixed it's-"

CLANG!

With a loud, metallic noise, the hatch finally popped open, the twisted metal jarred free by the repeated impacts on the ground. Clamps released, energy fired, and with a scream of outrage, something fairy sized was shot out into the Gensokyo air.

"DAAAAAMN YOUUUUUUUU HUUUUUUSTLEEEEEEEEER!"

With a yelp, Daiyousei felt herself yanked down, Cirno pulling her close as Mystia dove in next to them, the angrily yelling object flying overhead, being abruptly cut off as it ricocheted off of two trees and plowed a ten foot trench into the dirt, sending Wriggle and Rumia's melee flying.

As bits of gravel and dust pattered down on them, Cirno raised her head slightly, squinting through the haze.

"Whoa...didn't see THAT coming..."Raising her voice slightly, she called out. "Everybody all right?"

A chorus of groans answered her, mostly from Rumia and Wriggle's direction. Mystia stirred next to them, coughing slightly as she brushed the dust out of her meticulously kept hair. Looking down, the ice fairy nudged her best friend.

"Hey, Dai, you okay?"

"...meep!" Daiyousei managed to squeak, too distracted by just how close she was to Cirno, feely oddly cold and hot and the same time.

"Uh...I'll take that as a yes?"

A low groan came from the direction of the crash, a new voice unfamiliar to any of them.

Cirno looked in the direction of it, a curious look on her face.

"Was that...a person that flew out?"

Helping the still incoherent Daiyousei to her feet, and giving one last look back at the strangely silent machine, Team Nineball hurried over to the impact crater. Upon reaching it, however...

"What is THAT...?"

A human sized object, looking like a strange, flattened coffin of sorts lay in the dirt, strange lights running around its perimeter. Rattling slightly, it gave another muffled groan, this time positively identifiable as the voice they'd heard from the red and black machine.

Conjuring a long piece of ice, Cirno poked the downed object gingerly, much to the consternation of the others.

"W-wait Cirno! It might not be safe!"

As if to prove the night sparrow's point, light flashed from the object, sweeping over the surface.

**"EO UNIT, SWITCHING TO INDEPENDENT FUNCTION."**

Lines of light painting across it's surface, they began to coalesce, the Exceed Orbit's auxiliary function, one which was unique to the EO units of Hustler One, beginning to compile a holographic image of it's contained personality. A special function Hustler himself had put together in case of an emergency such as this, his Exceed Orbits could be used for infiltration and recon, disguising themselves with holographic human forms for those rare occasions when a more...personal touch was needed in the course of his duties.

Of course, there was no way he could manage any kind of remote access in this case. So, he'd opted for the next best option which, he had to admit, did offer some most delightful bonuses.

The girls squinted, peering through the brightness as the light began to fade.

"Hey, that's..."

As it disappeared completely, a new figure appeared, sprawled facedown in the dirt where the EO unit had been.

A black blouse, with long, red sleeves, buttoned at the wrist, worn over a well-kept, conservative red skirt that dropped to just above the woman's knees, full length black stockings and dark red heels. Long, waist length her the color of spun gold fanning out around her, Lana Nielsen groaned, pushing herself up out of the dirt. Dispassionately, she noted that the holographic system was functioning as it should, generating forcefields where necessary to simulate the appearance of mass, otherwise her hand would have just passed harmlessly through the dirt.

...unfortunately, this 'appearance' of solidity did have drawbacks, which would explain why she now had a throbbing headache from smashing facefirst into the dirt.

"...Hustler One, I am going to KILL you."

Dusting herself off, Lana unsteadily hovered to her feet, floating a few inches off of the ground as she surveyed the surroundings.

"Trees...more trees...good grief, he was right, nature really IS alive here!" Squinting slightly, she gave an annoyed growl, realizing that her vision was slightly unstable. No doubt some dirt or grit had gotten into the EO's lens and was screwing with her sight. Sighing, she brought up one of the auxiliary cameras, adding it's data to the mix. On her holographic form, that manifested as a pair of narrow, half-rimmed rectangular glasses. Pushing them up slightly, she gave an annoyed huff. For any other Armored Core, or any other EO unit, such feats would be impossible. But Nineball Seraph, and Hustler One had been created during the golden age of their world, before so much had been lost in the Great Destruction. Their role had been to safeguard mankind, controlling the entire world behind the scenes as the race that had created them slowly rebuilt itself.

As the ultimate last line of defense, Nineball Seraph, Hustler One's final form, had been built with the greatest, most powerful of those lost technologies, an invincible guardian against mankind's own self-destructive tendencies.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though the old mankind had forgotten just HOW destructive their race could really be, which all served to explain why despite all of his power, Nineball Seraph now lay in ruins on a strange new world.

Shaking her head in annoyance, Lana turned smoothly on the spot, one arm resting on her holographic hip as she looked back the way she had come-

Only to find herself inches away from a curious pair of blue eyes.

"K-kyaaaa!"

The infamous administrator of the Raven's Nest, the 'Iron Maiden' figure feared and respected by every Raven and corporation of her time, screamed like a little girl, staggered two steps back and fell on her rear, the E.O's movement simulators unable to keep up with her sudden erratic motion.

The Ice Fairy of the lake, Cirno, stared down at her in bewilderment.

"What're you getting so worked up for? I haven't even done anything yet!"

"Wh-what in...?!"

In his digital void, Nineball's senses flickered, staring through Lana's eyes. The being before her was not only 'flying', hovering a meter or so off the ground with no visible means of propulsion, but the temperature readings...!

Lana blinked, and rechecked her systems again.

No, there was no question about it. The thing in front of her, taking the form of a young girl...had a body temperature of -278 Kelvin! Absolute Zero!

The temperature at which ALL molecular activity stopped! How on EARTH was something like that alive?!

"You...how the..." She stammered, hastily recollecting her thoughts. And were those...wings?!

Hustler One confirmed it for her, sensors racing across the six sizable ice crystals floating behind the girl's back to form 'wings' of a sort.

"J...just what ARE you?!" Lana demanded finally, staring up at the girl.

Cirno tilted her head.

"What kind of a silly question is that?" She grinned, jerking a thumb towards her chest.

"Eye'm the STRONGEST, of course!"

* * *

**A/N:** Armored Gensokyo returns, with the arrival of a new player on the scene!

I'll admit, I probably took some liabilities with the E.O, but let's face it: Hustler One, and Lana Nielsen by extension, were the ENTIRE WORLD at one point.

To quote:

"The Corporations...The ACs...the Raven's Nest...All these were formed by me. For the sole purpose of recreating the world and mankind with it. That's the duty to which I've been entrusted. Those who wield too much power...Those who bring only chaos...They are simply not part of the program. I was created to protect mankind and the world. I intend to fulfill this task."

Which would imply that Nineball was designed to be far more than just an AC, but to be an administrator. THE administrator. And thus, he would have been created with a far more extensive and detailed range of capabilities, such as to use his drones like I showed above, to 'fake' a human presence where simple electronic appearances alone would not suffice. Those appearances would not have needed to be Hustler One, or Lana Nielsen, of course.

Other names, other faces, always there in the background. A word here, a note there, passing from one hand to another, the spider at the heart of the web that covered the world.

Simply remaining hidden in the net, and communicating via e-mails and such wouldn't be enough, humankind is too chaotic for that. There would always be a chance of something going wrong, a simple slip, a random occurrence, and then it would all begin to unravel like every high tech spy thriller movie ever made.

No, there would always be times when a personal touch was needed. A nameless bodyguard, a random passerby on the street, a member of the police.

Nineball Seraph, Hustler One could be anywhere and everywhere at the same time, his pawns, all controlled directly by him, doing whatever he needed done to ensure the smooth, successful pursuit of his task.

At least, that's my take on it. And with technology from before the Great Devastation, who knows? He could very well have had that.

At any rate, it gives me a chance to bring Lana onto the scene as her own character now, and to support Nineball since, as you've no doubt noticed, he's a little...incapacitated at the moment.

...and I don't care what Cirno's ACTUAL body temperature is, for the purpose of impressing just HOW much of a change this is to Lana and Hustler One, she's running a core temperature of absolute zero.

Anyway, enjoy!


	9. Chapter 9: The Most Interesting Youkai

**Chapter 9:** The Most Interesting Youkai In Gensokyo

* * *

A deafening silence fell over the clearing, Lana Nielsen staring up at the blue-clad, absolute-zero temperature'd anomaly floating before her in the guise of a little girl.

...with ice wings.

After several minutes, the representative of the legendary Nineball Seraph managed to recover enough of her wits to respond.

"Uh...what...?"

There was a sound of someone banging their head on a tree.

"...and once more, our fearless leader kicks logic to the curb and misses the point entirely."

"C-Cirno, please come away from there, she might be dangerous!"

Lana started in alarm, looking around. In all of the excitement, she had forgotten that Nineball had detected not one, but five sources of motion.

"Wh-who's there?! Show yourself!"

"Hey!" Cirno frowned. "That's not a very nice way to talk, doll-lady!"

Lana stared at her, confused.

"Doll lady...?"

"Yeah." A disappointed voice sounded, inches away from her ear. "She looks real, but there's no meat on her..."

Lana stifled the urge for another wholly-uncharacteristic scream and triggered the EO's boosters, hurling herself headfirst across the clearing, recovering and spinning around to face the way she had come-

Only to find Rumia cursing and wiping the dust out of her eyes, the shadow youkai having long since snuck up behind her.

"You...how did you-?!"

Nineball rumbled inside of her head, and Lan's eyes widened, a last minute camera image flashing through her mind.

"Wait...I recognize you!" She turned, staring at Cirno, who'd been slightly taken aback by the A.I's sudden reaction, "And you too, come to think of it!"

"Oh?!" Cirno grinned in delight, "So, you've heard of my fearsome reputation, then, doll-lady!"

"What?" Lana blinked, thrown off-guard slightly, "No, I mean you two bozos are the ones who headbutted us!"

The ice fairy stared.

"Headbutted...?"

" 'Us'?" Rumia raised an eyebrow at the strange woman's use of the plural word. "I only see you..."

"...she means that golem you crashed into by the lake, you boneheads." Another voice drawled off to the side.

Startled again, the A.I whirled, her eyes falling on a green-haired figure leaning back against a nearby tree, arms folded across her chest.

Wriggle Nightbug cracked open one eye, staring coolly at the woman.

"And judging by the fact that you said 'us', there's someone else in that thing too, isn't there."

Inwardly, Wriggle smirked gleefully.

_'Heh, a newcomer...now's the perfect chance to regain my reputation and respect as a feared youkai, even by something as alien as her! Just LOOK at this cool appearance I'm pulling off!'_

Lana stared, tilting her head slightly.

_'Struck speechless by my fearsome presence, are you? Good, good!' _Wriggle crowed.

"...are those...antennae?"

Wriggle blinked, turning to face her.

"...what?"

"...on your head." Lana gestured, one eye twitching slightly, "Are those antennae?"

"Uh..."Wriggle cast about desperately in search of a sufficiently suave response. "U-um, I mean...AHEM!"

Regaining her composure, she leaned back once more, smirking.

"What...never seen a firefly youkai before, doll?"

"Er...no, whatever that is." Lana raised an eyebrow, entirely unimpressed by the newcomer's act, "But even if I did, I'd still have to ask: Are they SUPPOSED to be tied in a knot like that?"

Wriggle was silent for several moments. Then, carefully maintaining a neutral expression, she wordlessly reached up and patted the top of her head.

"..."

"..."

"MYSTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Laughter burst out from the canopy over head, Mystia falling into sight as she clutched at her ribs in glee.

"Ahahahahahaha...hahaha! Oh...oh my...!" She giggled, wiping a tear of mirth from her eyes. "I...I'm sorry...! Seeing Wriggle trying so hard to be cool...was just too cute! I...I just had to tease you a bit, I'm sorry! Ahahahahaha!"

Lana stared up at the laughing night sparrow, an incredulous look on her face. ANOTHER one of these...people, had shown up, and this one had real, organic wings! With FEATHERS! Not only that, but that vocal pattern...

A small window appeared in her vision, Hustler One confirming it. The audio feed they were getting was picking up something...strange, a frequency of sound hidden just beneath the surface of the airborne newcomer.

Intrigued, she focused more attention on that. It didn't seem as though the newcomer was doing it deliberately, rather, it seemed as though it was being muffled, held in check for the mome-

Her world shook, a tremendous impact slamming into her network as Hustler One himself gave a digital roar of anger. Only then did she realize that the more she had focused on that strange sub-frequency, the darker her other sensors were becoming, her 'eyesight' becoming riddled with static and dimming.

Shaking her head woozily, she sent a wordless reply of gratitude back to the immobilized machine.

Seeing her discomfort, Mystia dropped closer, a curious look on her face.

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no, it's...nothing..." Lana replied hastily, "I'm just a little, um, overwhelmed, is all."

That was putting it lightly. Here she was, talking to beings that in NO WAY could ever possibly classify as human, stranded in a place that DEFINITELY didn't exist in her world, and was faced with the presence of-

An sensation of annoyance surged through her connection, Hustler One expressing his displeasure-

...the presence of MAGIC, she continued, pointedly ignoring her other half, to the extent that she'd very nearly damaged her own optical software by focusing too much on the mere AUDIO FREQUENCY of one such instance.

A sonic frequency that caused blindness? Interesting, though this was not the time for that. As the only one out of the two AI's capable of speech and sight at the moment, her greatest priority at the moment was to act as Hustler One's eyes, ears and voice.

Recovering her composure once more, she was interrupted by another voice.

"U-um...just...who ARE you, exactly...?"

Turning, she saw the fifth member of this strange group, a timid, green-haired figure poking her head out from behind Cirno. Unlike the others, she didn't sense anything strange or eerie from this one. Where the gold-haired one had the uncanny knack of sneaking up on her, the birdlike one had that strange vocal ability and the blue haired girl that apparently flipped all laws of thermal physics on their head, this one seemed positively...normal.

...well, other than the fact that she seemed to be a crystallization of the strange natural energy that abounded in this place.

Racking her brains to pull up her references of mythological literature, she figured the closest description she could find was a 'Nature Spirit' of some kind...

She could hear Hustler One snorting in disbelief again. For someone with no knowledgeable grasp of emotions, he was certainly learning fast...

But first, she had an introduction to make.

Clearing her throat, she straightened up, once more regaining the professional demeanor of the Raven's Nest administrator.

"Ahem...My name is Lana Nielsen." Briefly, she considered using the rest of her titles, but decided against it. This world didn't even look like it knew true war, much less ACs and the Ravens, so she doubted it would make a difference.

* * *

**Lana Nielsen**

**The Administrator of Ravens**

BGM: ~'9'~

* * *

Nineball blinked.

...what in the...

He looked around. Had anyone else seen that...?

Looking back at his feeds, he was forced to admit that yes, his readouts on Lana had just displayed that message upon her introduction.

Lana blinked at his bewildered query.

_'No, I didn't do anything to your sensors! Now leave me alone, I'm trying to make a good impression here!'_

Confused, Hustler One settled back into cyberspace, utterly at a loss as to how she had just gotten a 'title' out of nowhere like that.

Bewildered, he set his disks to run yet another check, and returned his attention to the feeds.

...and where was that damned music coming from? And more importantly, he could have SWORN he'd just heard it say "D-d-destroy...! NINE-BALL!"

As Hustler One was in the middle of suffering a bout of fourth-wall breaking, a common occurrence in Gensokyo, the newly titled 'Administrator' continued.

"I and that machine over there mean you no harm. We're merely trying to figure out where we are, and to find a place to make repairs."

"Oh, well, that's easy enough!" Cirno laughed. "If it's repairs you want, the kappa at Youkai Mountain are your best bet!"

"Youkai...mountain...?" Lana blinked, the name bringing up nothing in her databanks. "Um...If you don't mind my asking, where IS that, exactly? And who are these 'kappa'?"

The kappa, she COULD find in her database, but the creatures from Japanese mythology couldn't be what this, erm...child was telling her, right?

From the way the others stared at her, though, she got the distinct impression that she'd asked an enormously stupid question.

"Um...you're...not from around here, are you...?" The little green haired (fairy?) girl asked, coming out from behind Cirno a bit more.

"Um...maybe?" The AI gave a sheepish smile.

There was a groan from Wriggle.

"Yukari's been fooling around again...!"

"Ooooooh." Mystia nodded, realization dawning. "Yes, that would probably explain it."

Lana looked from one to the other in confusion.

"I'm sorry, but...what?"

"Just out of curiosity...before you ended up here, did you fall through some kind of weird portal? Purple-black, with creepy eyes staring everywhere?"

Hustler One regarded the girl with the antenna interestedly. Why yes, yes he HAD fallen through such a thing.

"...you could say that." Lana replied evasively. "Scary woman, gold hair, a purple dress and a parasol?"

"Whoa, she came for you two personally?!" Wriggle jerked upright. "Damn...she must REALLY have an interest in you two!"

"Sucks to be you guys..." Rumia winced.

"I've noticed." Lana replied dryly, before her tone turned serious once more. "Very well, since I've apparently been found out, who IS this Yukari person? Or rather, WHAT is she? No mere human contains that much power! For that matter, what are you as well? And where IS this anyway?!"

"Well, we can't really say in Yukari's case..." Mystia hesitated, "Mostly because nobody knows just HOW powerful she really is, but..."

"Long story short," Wriggle cut in, "We're youkai."

Lana stared at her for a moment, pronouncing the unfamiliar word.

"You...kai?"

As if on cue, her link to Nineball came to life, the intelligence within the wrecked hull humming as Hustler One recovered from the dismissal of the fourth wall to find the necessary information.

He wasn't sure why on earth his designers had seen fit to include information on the various myths of the world as well, but whatever the reason, he was glad they did.

Lana's eyes glowed for an instant, files appearing in her vision.

'**Youkai** (妖怪, _yōkai_) is a term mostly associated with Japanese folk creatures and ghosts. The term can also apply broadly to anything that is a supernatural being or legend, from any culture. Because there are thousands of stories of magical beings around the world, the different types of youkai are endless. Fairies, vampires, oni and nekomata are all examples of this. Alternatively, it is a common Japanese belief that after a certain amount of time, ordinary objects and animals gain life and personality, becoming a kind of youkai as well. In some cases even a normal human can become a youkai under the right conditions.'

The glow faded, Lana shaking her head slightly as she dismissed the files.

"So you're...magic?"

"Yep!" Cirno grinned. As if to illustrate her point, light glowed in her hand, a cluster of tiny ice crystals appearing and orbiting around her raised index finger.

"I...incredible...!" Lana gasped, her glasses flickering with readouts as she accessed Hustler One's vast processing power, attempting in vain to classify the phenomenon she was seeing. "A complete impossibility by any standard of physics, and yet, here it is...but...how?!"

Cirno blinked.

"Huh? You mean...how I do this?" She seemed to consider the idea for a moment, then looked down at her glowing finger with a bewildered expression.

"...you know, I never thought about that. I just sort of...do it, I guess?"

The Administrator stared blankly at her. After a moment, they became aware of a dull, metallic sound. Looking around...

"...um...why is that big machine thing banging its head on the ground?"

The red and black-clad blonde pressed a hand to her face, groaning.

* * *

**A/N:** In which Lana Nielsen has her first encounter with the locals of Gensokyo, and introduces herself.

...also in which Hustler One suffers from a minor bout of fourth wall breaking, much to his bewilderment.

Welcome to Gensokyo, buddy, you're gonna want to leave that sense of logic and COMMON SENSE at the door. IT DOES NOTHING HERE!

D8

Enjoy!


	10. Chapter 10: Meeting The Team

**Chapter 10:** Meeting The Team

* * *

"All right then..." Lana Nielsen sighed, distracting her audience's attention away from the sight of Nineball Seraph slamming his head against the floor repeatedly. "So you're...youkai?"

Rubbing the bridge of her nose, she muttered in annoyance.

"Well, considering everything else on this little 'trip', I suppose having a conversation with mythological beings is just par for the course..."

"Oh, that's a surprise!"

She raised her head, to see Mystia peering at her with interest.

"Er...what is it?"

"Well..." The night sparrow began to reply, before being cut off by Wriggle.

"...generally, most people from the outside world don't even know what a youkai is. Heck, sometimes they don't even believe what we are even when we tell them! But you...you don't seem fazed at all!"

The AI simply stared at her.

"I just fell out of the sky in a sentient giant robot."

There was a long pause.

"...she's got you there, Wriggle." Mystia gave her a sheepish grin..

"...okay, so MAYBE you do have a slightly different definition of normal than most." Wriggle allowed grudgingly. "But that still doesn't explain why you know what a youkai is at all!"

The secretary-looking woman adjusted her glasses with a smug grin.

"I know LOTS of things. That was just one of them."

Catching the dirty look Nineball was sending her, she rolled her eyes and shot back at him.

"Hey, they're MY databanks too, you know!"

Clearing her throat, she turned back to the others.

"...as I said, I know lots of things. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about youkai, besides what one is, to know what each of you are."

Her eyes narrowed.

"For one thing, NONE of you seem to share any similar characteristics..." A pause. "Well...except for you two." She admitted, nodding at Cirno and Daiyousei.

And even then, that was mostly superficial. Her eyes drifted to the temperature reading of the blue girl again, and she shuddered, forcing herself to ignore it.

"Ooh, good eye!" Cirno said proudly. "Me and Daiyousei are both fairies, and I'm the strongest one of them all!"

'...if that temperature is right, I wouldn't doubt it...' Lana thought grimly. Turning to the others, her eyes narrowed.

"You're a...firefly youkai, I think you said?"

Wriggle cleared her throat, adjusting her shirt as she attempted to once more recover her composure.

"Yeah, I am. Queen of the Fireflies, to use one of my other titles." She leaned against a nearby tree. "It's not much, but I have command over all insects-"

"Within a certain range, of course!" Mystia interrupted with a sly grin.

"ARGH! DAMMIT MYSTIA, QUIT RUINING MY 'COOL' IMAGE!"

Ignoring the raging firefly, Mystia swept down, wings rustling as she came to a halt in the air before Lana, the Administrator taking a cautious half-step back.

"As for me, I'm a night sparrow!"

"Um...okay...?" Lana replied hesitantly. But before the youkai could continue, a thought struck the AI and she held up a hand to stop Mystia.

"Your...'power'...by any chance, does it have something to do with that voice of yours?"

All of them blinked in surprise.

"Um...yes, actually." Mystia said uncertainly, "I can cause night-blindness with my songs, but...how did you know...?"

Lana adjusted her glasses, eyes glinting coldly as she averted her gaze for a moment.

_'So THAT explains what happened to me...A frequency of sound designed to inflict blindness on those who hear it...is such a thing really possible?'_

There was an awkward silence as Hustler One tactfully reminded her of her current audience. Fairies, a firefly and a sparrow...

…

Okay, she had to admit, maybe it wasn't THAT far out of an idea

Particularly considering the fact that she herself had almost fallen victim to it.

It was at that point she realized she was monologuing to herself again, and returned to the conversation with a jolt.

"Eh...aheheheh...Um, c-call it feminine intuition, I guess? Ahaha..." Lana laughed nervously, wordlessly hoping none of them had noticed her more...Hustler-like side showing.

"Hmmm..." Mystia gave her an odd look at that, but after a moment the sparrow youkai simply shrugged and gave a twirl in midair. "Well, your intuition is pretty amazing, then!"

"...yes, yes it is." Lana said proudly, shooting a quick look at the red and black frame visible through the trees. If only they knew...

She straightened up, folding her arms and giving them an authoritative look.

"Very well then...let me see if I have it correctly: You all are...youkai, correct?"

She looked first at Mystia.

"You are a night sparrow, whose songs inflict blindness and a loss of vision on those who hear it."

Turning, she glanced at Wriggle, who hastily attempted to feign disinterest, leaning unconcernedly against a nearby tree.

"And you are..." The Administrator paused, "A cockroach youkai, with control over insects, correct?"

It took both Mystia and Cirno to hastily pin down a suddenly berserk Wriggle.

"Er...d-did I get it wrong...?" Lana asked nervously.

"Well...kind of..." Daiyousei replied sheepishly. "A lot of people regularly mistake Wriggle for a cockroach instead of a firefly, so..."

"A FIREFLY DAMMIT! FIIIIIIIIIIREFLYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Both fairy and AI sweatdropped as the miniature brawl redoubled in intensity.

"She's...a little sensitive about that." The green-haired fairy added with a nervous laugh. At that, Lana gave her an odd look.

"Come to think of it...what's your ability?" She nodded towards Cirno. "She said that you were both fairies, but while she displays some very...um, obvious and unique clues as to what she can do, and said you were both...'fairies'..." and she could feel Hustler One cringing again at the unscientific term, "...she never said what your ability was."

Daiyousei drew back slightly, her hands instinctively clasping in front of her chest.

"M-m-me? O-oh, um, I...don't really have any special abilities or anything..." She laughed, the sound obviously forced and extremely fake to Lana's skilled senses. "I-I'm just an ordinary fairy, haha...!"

The Administrator's eyes narrowed, and she opened her mouth to press the issue, before another surge of alarm from Nineball stopped her.

'What is it NOW?!' she hissed across the connection. To her surprise, Hustler One gave her no reply, simply warning her off from pursuing that line of conversation any further. Ignoring her demands for an explanation, the Master of the Arena simply stared grimly at the feeds.

He wasn't certain of the cause, but just like before, it seemed only he had the microsecond-fast processing speed to see the signs that Lana missed. The first had been her failure to realize what that hidden frequency of sound was doing to their collective sight, and this time...

It had only been for a mere fraction of a second, but when she had asked the green haired...

…

...'fairy', and Hustler One resisted the urge to scrub his databanks again, but when she had asked about the ability of this 'Daiyousei' as she seemed to be designated, he had sensed something.

Not with his ridiculously powerful sensor arrays, or what still remained of them after his disastrous landing, but with that strange, unquantifiable 'intuition' he seemed to be developing.

A black surge, an aura of corrosive and malignant 'power', for lack of a better word, had flickered into being, before it was quickly snuffed out again. He decided the experience was not unlike the brief chill felt as a cloud crossed the path of the sun.

Of all of those present, he seemed to be the only one who had felt that...at least until he took a closer look at the feeds and realized he hadn't been.

It was for only a moment, but that supposedly carefree and cheerful ice fairy's expression had changed. Pausing in her attempt to restrain the insect, something like a combination of worry, alarm and caution had crossed her face, eyes flickering to where her compatriot had been talking to Lana. Then, as if satisfied by something, she had returned to the miniature brawl.

It was almost too quick, a mere moment's respite, but Hustler was fairly certain no-one without his processing speed and machine-like attention to detail would have caught it...which oddly enough, might explain why Lana missed these things. Her mindset was designed to be more human, after all, not to mention, she was directly involved and didn't have the luxury of being an invisible third-party observer like he did.

There was a momentary pause as another observation dawned on him, with a slightly ironic touch in that this one was STUPIDLY obvious and he really should have noticed it sooner.

Then again...

Preferring to smoothly gloss over that bit of information and pretend it didn't happen, he instead opted to send Lana a tactful reminder about her audience. Or rather, the number of them there should have been.

The Administrator blinked.

"Wait a minute..." She looked around, counting the figures present.

The ice fairy, the...normal? fairy, the cockroa-firefly, she reminded herself, and the blinding night sparrow...that was four.

...hadn't there been five?

She looked across at Daiyousei again, a mild look of bewilderment on her face.

"Wait...weren't there five of you?"

"Um, about that..." The green haired fairy replied sheepishly, pointing at something just above Lana's line of sight.

...it was at about this moment that the AI became aware of a constant, grinding sound.

There was an awkward silence, before Lana slowly raised her eyes up-

To find that Rumia, the fifth member, had been clamped onto her head, and gnawing unsuccessfully away at the solid light surface of her holographic head, teeth grating away with a sound like a small chainsaw.

After a few seconds, the grinding sound slowly petered off, Rumia realizing she had an audience.

"..."

"..."

"Ahm...hai?" She managed, mouth still open in mid-gnaw.

"...what are you doing?"

"...traying tah...eat you...?"

Lana wordlessly brought her gaze back down to Daiyousei, expression wooden. She pointed one finger up and the gold-haired, red eyed girl in monochrome clothes gnawing on her projected skull.

"...Explain. Now."

"Bad Rumia!" Cirno waved frantically. "No eating the doll lady!"

A pause.

"...wait, if she's a doll-lady, why are you trying to eat her again?" The ice fairy tilted her head.

There was another, longer pause, broken only by the sound of Rumia's stomach growling.

The darkness youkai blushed.

"...l-look, it's been a while, all right?!" She retorted, hastily hopping back off of Lana and attempting to inconspicuously straighten her clothes.

"You...eat people?" Lana said slowly. Well, this could be...awkward.

"Yes!" A pause, as Rumia realized that this might not have been the most tactful response. "I mean, no!...I mean, yes! No!"

"..."

"..."

"...maybe?" She gave a sheepish cackle, quailing under the Administrator's suddenly blank stare. "I'm a youkai, what do you want from me?!"

Lana wordlessly turned on her heel to stare at Daiyousei, who by this point she'd come to realize was probably the only one here capable of giving any kind of explanation that made SENSE.

"W-well..." The greater fairy faltered, "Most youkai are carnivorous...and since humans are just another type of prey to them..."

"I see." Lana replied coolly.

...well. THIS was certainly interesting. Firstly, she'd just determined that yes, there WERE other humans here. And for another thing, it looked as though the additional references of youkai preying on humans in her mythological records were not entirely without merit.

"...no matter how advanced you are, in the end it all comes down to the law of nature, huh..." She sighed, pressing a hand to her forehead in annoyance.

"D-d-don't misunderstand, though!" Daiyousei waved frantically. "N-not all youkai are like that! Mostly, it's only the wild youkai, the beasts and so on who do that sort of thing."

"Gee, thanks, Dai. Glad to know you think so highly of me."

"Oh hush, you know what I mean, Rumia!"

Ignoring the snickering from the darkness youkai, Daiyousei went on.

"There's a sort of...balance to it...um, I'm not very good at explaining all of this complicated stuff, but..."

Rumia sighed.

"...long story short, I just really REALLY love to eat meat. I don't HAVE to eat humans, rather, any meat would do just as well. I just...happen to like the taste..." She twiddled her fingers together guiltily, "And it's been a while...and you looked really delicious, and..."

Lana wordlessly held up one hand, massaging her forehead with the other in exasperation.

"Thank you, I get the point. Please don't continue..."

In the ruins of his frame, Hustler One mused over this information.

Interesting...so there WERE normal humans here as well. He had been wondering about that, what with all the strange and fantastic features of this new place...plus the fact it was almost certainly an entirely different world altogether.

Curious, he brought some of his long range sensors back online. During Lana's stint as his intermediary with the small band of youkai, he had reconfigured them to be able to read the strange 'power' in this environment. If they really were youkai as they said, and unfortunately current evidence DID seem to favor that, he supposed he'd have to refer to this power as 'youki' in keeping with the information in his datatbanks.

Briefly, though, he wondered why on earth someone would have seen fit to give a warmachine like him knowledge on THAT particular subject.

Considering his role, didn't that seem kind of...useless?

...he would investigate that train of thought another time. For now, he had a much larger issue at hand.

He hadn't been able to find the humans, but his sensor had found something much more worrying.

Several EXTREMELY powerful sources of 'youki'/energy/power whichever suited it best, had appeared, coming from the direction of his landing path. Namely, around that giant mansion of red stone.

And they were closing fast.

This could be...a problem.

* * *

**A/N:** In which Lana Nielsen attempts to make any kind of sense out of anything, Nineball Seraph attempts to do the same, and they both fail miserably.

Also in which Nineball manages to bring his long range sensors up...and just in time too!

**DUN DUN _DUUUUUUUUUUUUN_**

Say what you will about Gensokyo residents...but their 'welcoming committees' move FAST. More so if it involves rightful indignation and revenge of some kind. XD

Either way, COMPANY'S COMING!


	11. Chapter 11: Tick Tock, Then You Die

**Chapter 11**: Tick Tock, And Then You Die

* * *

"Well, I suppose that takes care of introductions and orientation then..." Lana sighed.

"I-I'm sorry I couldn't be more help..." Daiyousei's shoulders sagged dejectedly. "Gensokyo can be a very dangerous place for outsiders unfamiliar with it, and you seem like a nice person..."

"So it'd be really bad if a nice doll-lady like you were to get in trouble!" The boisterous blue fairy spoke up loudly, smacking one fist against her chest with pride. "So I, the strongest fairy, will be your guardian until you get the hang of things!"

Daiyousei brightened up, even as Wriggle groaned in the background.

"Oh, thank you Cirno!"

"...oi..."The firefly pressed a hand to her face, "Why can't she ever think first before making decisions on the spot like that?"

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport." Mystia hummed, "It's interesting enough, isn't it?"

The two of them watched Cirno continuing to boast, the red and black clad blonde stranger looking rather beleaguered.

"...I guess," Wriggle replied uncertainly, " But still, what if this gets us into trouble?"

She pointed through the trees at the battered crimson frame.

"That had to have made on HELL of a racket coming down! Who knows what kind of attention it could have drawn? Heck, you and I both know there's no way the 'big guns' of Gensokyo'd miss something like that!"

Mystia's expression clouded, the sparrow gnawing on one fingertip worriedly.

"Actually, about that...did you notice anything strange about that machine?"

Wriggle stared at her for a moment, any number of possible retorts playing in her head.

"Um...it's a giant robot that fell out of the sky, plowed halfway across Gensokyo and ejected some kind of intelligent, super advanced doll." She said, raising an eyebrow. "You...might want to be a tad bit more specific."

"Er...good point..." Mystia sweadropped. "Um, I mean did it look as though it had red dust on it?"

The firefly youkai blinked.

"Hang on a sec..." She peered through the trees.

Though its casing was battered and dented, most of it stripped bare by the force with which it had hit the water, there were still deep, bloodred smudges on the metal.

Wriggle'e eyes narrowed at the familiar stains.

"Wait a minute..."

Stepping forward, she pushed her way out of the bushes to get a clear view of the lake.

"If it landed here, and the splash was over there..." Her head turned, following the trajectory of Nineball's crash. As her gaze finally reached to the opposite side of the lake, and what lay in the settling cloud of dust there-

She staggered back a full step as the surge of power slammed into her. Nothing physical, just the raw auras approaching fast.

A scent like the musty, dry scales of a reptile.

A scent like raw iron.

And a scent permeated with the sound of clockwork.

Three very different scents of power, and Wriggle knew every one of them.

"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-!"

Mystia was almost clotheslined by the firefly bolting back the way she'd come.

"Wriggle, that's-!"

"I KNOW WHO THAT IS, NOW SHUT UP AND HELP ME GET THESE BOZOS OUT OF HERE BEFORE-"

A shadow fell over the clearing. Bursting into sight, Wriggle skidded to a halt, everyone else already looking up as the shadows of the unmistakable Divine Pillars of Moriya fell over them.

"Now..." Kanako Yasaka folded her arms, staring down at the group coldly.

"Which one of you wants to explain this to me?"

Lana Nielsen stared up in something close to awe. The energy readings coming off of that imperious figure were...staggering, to say the least! And those bizarre pillars...she didn't even begin to know where to begin trying to explain that phenomenon!

Hustler One's digital pathways twisted in anger for a moment, staring up at the revealed War God through Lana's eyes.

How on earth had they closed in on his location so quickly?! He had only just registered them crossing the lake moments ago, before in the blink of an eye, they were on him! Teleportation...? No, this place was insane by his standards, but even something as incredible as instantaneous transference from one point in space-time to another couldn't be-

And then, his gaze fell on one of the figures revealed as the pillars shifted.

Oh.

...Oh, indeed.

Gray hair and a western maid's uniform, that was all Hustler One was willing to see before he cut the feeds, his digital senses recoiling in shock and incredulity.

An ordinary human at first glance...but once again, the strange...'second sight' of sorts he was beginning to find corrupting his visual data had shown him much, much more. In the same way that one look had told him beyond any physical data that Yukari Yakumo was nothing even remotely approaching human, in the same way that one look from Lana had sensed something inhuman, or Other, about the little band of youkai they had encountered, one look had shown him something far, far more than mere sensors or flesh could perceive.

He'd seen the twisted, impossible matrix of clockwork surrounding her, gears clicking and turning on to infinity itself, meshed seamlessly with the unseen workings of the world around her.

If the core temperature of absolute zero had been a clue to what the ice fairy Cirno's power had been, then that impossible nightmare of clockwork and ever-ticking machinery below the surface of reality meant something truly terrible to Hustler One's impeccable mind.

Teleportation had indeed seemed laughably impossible a moment ago, but compared to this...such an 'impossibility' now seemed merely 'unlikely'.

In the face of an ability to control Time, what else could he conclude?

Sakuya blinked, the hairs on the nape of her neck rising slightly as she felt a gaze settle on her. Not from Cirno or her usual band of Team Nineball members, but something...different, something alien.

Looking around warily, she realized that something was out of the ordinary. Even at their most active, Team Nineball had only ever consisted of five members.

Cirno, Daiyousei, Wriggle Nightbug, Rumia and Mystia Lorelei.

But there was a new face down there now.

Gold hair, dressed in a red and black ensemble and with a pair of narrow, rectangular, half-rimmed spectacles, Lana Nielsen stared back up through cold crimson eyes, pupils dilating and contracting with a whine as she tried to make sense of the situation.

Newcomers? But where had they come from? Even in his current condition, Nineball Seraph should have had more than enough left in it's sensor suite to...

To...

She read the terse, curt report from Hustler One.

Well.

Um.

That would do it, yes. With the more...esoteric data from her other half accounting for that, she swept her gaze across the other newcomers.

First off was the one in front. Blue haired, imperious, and in varying shades of red, she wore some kind of massive, twisted rope-looking ring on her back, a _shimenawa_ as her database reliably informed, something used to seal gods. And since her database was now oh so helpfully adding that the pillars now orbiting were divine pillars of some kind of another, also from Japanese Shinto mythology, that said all kinds of things about the woman to which they were attached, and none of them good.

A divine being powerful enough to wear a divinity-sealing artifact without any kind of effect?

Oh this was going to su-

* * *

**Kanako Yasaka**

**The Avatar of Mountains and Lakes**

**BGM: ~Mountain of Faith~**

* * *

…

...Lana risked a quick look around.

Okay, the ACTUAL hell was that?

Since when did she OR Hustler have subtitle options?!

...and where the hell was that music coming from anyway?

"Oi, Kanako."

The red-clad, pillar wielding figure now positively identified as Kanako turned, feeling a tap on her shoulder.

Lana blinked as she saw the third individual. Much smaller, this one wore a lilac dress with white sleeves, and a...

There was a pause.

As if sensing the question coming, Hustler One sent a wave of annoyance back. Yes, he saw the hat too. No, he had no idea why it was such a weird looking hat. And no, he was NOT going to risk his sensors again, he'd had quite enough of this place's insanity and sheer illogicality already, thank you very much!

Wincing at the volume of the digital response, Lana sheepishly added 'frustration' and/or 'outrage' to the normally cold machine's rapidly increasing emotional repertoire.

"What is it now, Suwako?"

"...wait, you seriously didn't notice?" The frog goddess gave her a deadpan look. "Man, when you get fired up, you get fired up!"

"It seems that machine isn't the only strange appearance today." Sakuya forestalled the inevitable annoyed response from the snake goddess, inclining her head slightly towards Team Nineball below.

"I do not recall Cirno and her group ever having someone as...outlandish in appearance as that in their group before."

Kanako blinked, looking back down. Now that they had pointed it out...

She took in the appearance of the stranger, golden hair over a red and black ensemble, and several years older than the youkai near her, at least in looks, Lana Nielsen did indeed stick out.

Matching stares warily with the three of the newcomers, she discreetly tugged on Daiyousei's sleeve.

"Oi...who the hell are those three? Granted you lot haven't exactly been normal by any stretch of the word, but those guys look like they mean business...!"

The lake fairy shivered. Next to her, a grim faced Wriggle replied.

"Good eye...that's Kanako Yasaka in front, the boss of the Moriya Shrine and one of Gensokyo's top dogs...the younger looking one behind her is her old rival, Suwako of Moriya. She looks harmless, but she's almost, if not more powerful than Kanako herself. And the third one-"

"-Is Sakuya Izayoi, Head Maid of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and second in command of my lady Remilia Scarlet." A voice spoke from directly behind them, the gray-haired maid folding her arms with a cool smile.

For her part, Lana Nielsen of the Ravens didn't stop for a second. Hustler One's devastating combat prowess roaring to the fore, she whirled, in motion even as Wriggle and Daiyousei stumbled back in shock from the maid's instantaneous teleportation.

Sparks flew, a clash of steel, and the rigid fingers of her hand grated against a handful of knives.

The Administrator's eyes widened. She was no slouch in physical output, thanks to the unique hardlight structure of her hologram, not to mention the lightning fast processing speed of her and Hustler One, but this...maid, a relatively unaugmented human could match her?!

"Holy..." Wriggle gaped. "She's taking on the maid?! There's a limit to ignorance, even for newcomers!"

"Nope!" Cirno grinned, eyes sparkling as she watched, apparently unperturbed in the slightest. "She's just STRONG!"

"...Cirno, please just stop talking..." Rumia groaned.

* * *

**A/N: **Because really, Sakuya can control time. Considering the more...scientific approach of Hustler One, I think it would only make sense that he'd 'perceive' her as something bordering on high-octane nightmare fuel.

And then of course, she's suddenly up in your base, ambushing your EO units and stabbing you in the back.

Because...well, pocketwatch OP. XD


	12. 12: Danmaku, Brightslaps and Killer Doll

**Chapter 12: Danmaku, Brightslaps and Killer Dolls**

* * *

The steel-haired maid gave a dispassionate glance across at the clash.

"Hmm...it seems I was right in sensing something off." Her eyes flicked up to meet Lana's bewildered red ones. "You're no normal human, are you?"

The Raven Administrator gave a taut smile in response.

"...says the lady who can move through time. Hello pot, my name is kettle!"

Sakuya's eyes narrowed imperceptibly

A flash of light, another crash and both combatants skidded away. Straightening up, she sheathed her knives, resting a hand on her hip.

"So...you saw through that almost immediately, hm?"

"...you could say that..." Lana replied guardedly, trying her best not to recall THAT particular sight. "So...remind me why you're suddenly trying to fight me? I mean...I'm fairly new here and all, and even though nothing in here seems to make any sense, I'm certain that's not exactly normal!"

There was an uncomfortable pause as every Gensokyo native in the clearing considered their respective pasts, usually involving a certain shrine maiden, or a black-white ordinary magician.

Lana Nielsen looked around, before her shoulders slumped in realization.

"...all right, seriously?"

"Yep!" Cirno chirped. "Around here it's fight first and ask questions afterwards!"

Sakuya gave an embarrassed cough.

"Not...precisely, but I suppose you could say that." Her gaze hardened as she looked across at the Administrator. "But by that statement, am I correct in assuming that you are, to put it bluntly, a resident of the Outside World?"

"...I'd stake my shrine on it." Kanako's imperious voice answered for her, the war god descending. That odd machine could have just been written off as some new experimental kappa golem, but you yourself..."

Her eyes narrowed, Kanako drifted slowly in a circle around Lana, scrutinizing her.

"...a projected appearance, with a hardlight field to simulate the feel and force of a living body...That's technology I haven't even been able to duplicate...At least, not yet."

She came to a stop, an annoyed look on her face.

"Yukari's up to something again."

"When ISN'T she?" Suwako sighed, perching atop a nearby tree branch in a distinctively frog-like manner.

"U-umm...i-it's not her fault!"

A high pitched, nervous voice spoke up.

Daiyousei suddenly found herself the center of attention, everyone else giving the normally timid, less outspoken fairy a bewildered look.

"Um...it's not Miss Lana's fault she got thrown in here by Miss Yukari! Or her, um...machine thing..." The lake fairy hesitated for a moment, before rallying.

"S-so don't get too mad at her, please!"

"Dai..." Cirno glanced at her friend, surprised at the outburst.

"Oh, don't worry about that..." Kanako replied. "I'm ALL to familiar with Yukari's love of toying with outsiders. So I'm not mad about THAT."

Up in her tree, Suwako groaned, as Kanako's onbashira, previously forgotten, began to move once more.

"...see, the part where you DESTROYED MY BLOODY SHRINE now, THAT part I'm a bit upset about." The war god's eye twitched. "If it's all the same to you, I'd like two things: an explanation, and payback!"

"Your...shrine?" Lana blinked, bewildered. "I'm...pretty sure I don't know anything about that. I mean, we hit the mountain on the way down, but I think aside from a few weird looking arches we didn't really hit anything too important..."

Too late she realized the mistake of her last two words and frantically tried to recover.

"Erm, um, I mean, we didn't hit anything like a shrine! That's what I-"

"Sooo, now my shrine, the center of my faith gathering operations isn't IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO NOTE?"

The Onbashira whirled around, rising into the air.

"That's it, CALL YOUR SPELLCARDS. We're settling this here and now!"

Spellcards? Lana took a step back, worriedly, readying herself. She had no idea what the hell that meant, but either way, this looked like a fight brewing. She dropped her center of gravity, raising her arms defensively. This body's combat capabilities were limited, but with no other choice, and further words apparently rendered useless, what else could she-

The confrontation was interrupted by a frozen meteorite slamming into the ground in front of Kanako, the war goddess taking to the sky to avoid it.

"HEY!"

A blue and white figure floated above Lana. Arms folded, Cirno fixed the goddess with an angry look.

"Picking on a newcomer like that's no fair!"

"...yeah, Kanako, I doubt she even knows what a spellcard is." Suwako added.

"Urk..." Kanako flinched, realizing they were right. "W-well, do YOU have a better idea on how to settle this? Aside from a fistfight, obviously!"

"Well, of course!" Cirno said brightly. "Since we were here first, the doll-lady's with us!"

"Bwah?" Lana managed. Next to her, Wriggle groaned and dropped her head into her hands.

"I was afraid of this..."

"...what do you mean 'you were here first'?"

"We found them first, so obviously, that big thingie out there is ours now, and we already made friends with the doll-lady too!"

That logic...what...Hustler One stared blankly, wondering if he should defrag again. Did NO-ONE ON THIS ROCK SPEAK SENSE?!

"So..." Kanako's eyes narrowed. "What, you're going to fight me instead?"

"Yep!" Cirno nodded. "It's a strong person's job to fight for weaker people, and I'm the STRONGEST!"

She jerked a thumb against her chest.

"So come on then!"

To her credit, the goddess was only taken aback for a moment. Then again, she reminded herself, Cirno'd never exactly been the brightest bulb in the room...at least in the realms of basic self-preservation.

On the other hand, fairies had infinite respawn, so...why bother with something irrelevant in the first place, right?

She bared her teeth in a smile.

"As gutsy as ever, I see...!"

One hand swept out, several cards of some kind held in her fingers.

"Two cards satisfactory enough for you?"

Cirno gave an answering grin, a matching pair of cards in her own hand, albeit a bit more homemade looking.

"Plenty enough!"

As the two combatants took to the air, Lana Nielsen's head swiveled from one to the other, looking completely lost.

"Spellcards...? Just...what...?" Her shoulders slumped. "...I have no idea what's going on in this place any more."

All she knew for certain was that one moment it looked like she was about to get into a second fight in as many minutes, and the next...

The thought died unfinished as the sky blew up.

...to be fair, it didn't LITERALLY blow up.

However, as Hustler One's trajectory mapping system almost instantaneously maxed out, both he and his more human half gaping incredulously up at their first ever danmaku battle...the difference was merely a matter of semantics.

With a low whine, Lana's eyes flickered across the sky, futilely attempting to track every glowing bullet, every shard of ice and rainbow glow that was hurled back and forth.

Cirno leaped and dodged, dancing through a storm of magical bursts that blotted out everything, cutting loose with blitzkriegs of ice. In contrast to her energetic, darting movement, Kanako Yasaka was a picture of sedate, economic movement, shifting smoothly out of the way of the razor shards of ice...save for a few moments where she simply batted them aside with a flick of the wrist, a dismissive gesture that looked no harder than slapping a fly...

But from the spikes in...power? Energy? Ki?

...Magic, Hustler One shuddered. With the brief flare of that...'power' occurring each time a shot was deflected, it indicated a considerable amount of strength and skill necessary for it. And yet the war goddess of Moriya made it look so very simple.

Granted, his sensor suite had stopped making any kind of sense to him from the first explosion of light and ice, so in all honesty he had not a bloody clue as to what was hard or easy.

Lana pressed a hand to her face, gritting her teeth as she tried to make sense of it all.

So many bullets...too many bullets...all on different trajectories...coming from too many angles...dodging and evading through spaces that SHOULD have been too small, but-

Cirno twisted, slipping sideways between two ellipsoidal bullets, changing her turn into another shotgun blast of ice.

-somehow were always just large enough to work.

"This is...this is insanity...!"

She shut one eye involuntarily, wincing as a bolt of pain stabbed into her head. Clutching at her temple, she cursed, her systems struggling and failing to track each and every projectile in the air simultaneously.

"No, not insanity, I'm afraid." A voice spoke up next to her, sounding faintly amused. With a start of alarm, the Administrator turned to see the steel-haired maid next to her, arms folded in a relaxed stance.

"Just danmaku."

"Dan...maku?" Lana replied uncertainly, her voice hesitant as she sounded out the unfamiliar term.

"Yes, danmaku." The maid, whose name she now recalled as Sakuya, replied, before clarifying. "Or put in more blunt terms, curtain fire."

The administrator looked up at the flashing sky bleakly.

"...yes, I can see why you'd call it that." She said flatly. "...and you people expected me to go blind into something like THAT?!"

Sakuya shrugged, giving her a faint smirk.

"...I'm afraid we here in Gensokyo and you of the Outside World have a bit of a...difference of opinion when it comes to common sense."

She tilted her head slightly towards the mayhem overhead.

"To you, this may seem entirely senseless...but to us residents of Gensokyo, this is just business as usual."

There was a long silence as Lana Nielsen stared blankly at her, a strained look on her face.

"...I'm sorry..." She managed to say finally. "I must have thrown a logic board. You...you mean to tell me that this-"

She swept a hand out to encompass the brilliant air overhead.

"...this...is NORMAL?" The administrator asked hollowly.

As if to illustrate the point, three massive Onbashira speared into the ground nearby, sending several of the other members of Team Nineball scattering for cover before a hail of wayward ice shards promptly sent them running in the opposite directions, with accompanying yells of "Hold STILL you little blue idiot!" and "Hey! The one who calls an idiot is the real idiot!" from on high.

Sakuya simply chuckled at that.

"One might almost call it common sense, in fact."

"Or as Kanako up there is so fond of saying..." Another voice spoke up, the diminutive figure of Suwako strolling up next to Lana, arms folded behind her head.

"Here in Gensokyo, common sense will only hold you back!" She paused for a minute, before clarifying. "Well the common sense of the outside anyway."

The red-and-black clad blonde looked at the two of them bleakly.

Right now, the sky above them was looking like someone had equipped about six Armored Cores with both left AND right FINGER machine guns, switched out the bullets for fireworks, and just left them with an inexhaustible supply of ammunition.

And that was just the result of TWO of these bizarre individuals fighting. What the maid was suggesting left her shaken...enough for Lana to double check it.

"...j...just to clarify..." She said weakly. "By that...do you mean that EVERYONE here is capable of...of..." Words failed her, so she just wordlessly gestured up.

"But of course." Sakuya replied smoothly, raising an eyebrow at the rattled look on the other woman's face. "In fact, this is how we prefer to settle our disputes."

There was a long, long silence, as Lana Nielsen tried, and failed to come up with a response to that. What surprised her most, however, was the fact that it wasn't their way of settling matters that struck her numb...but the grim, pained familiarity of such a thing.

She was the Administrator of the Ravens, after all.

And what better example of 'settling disputes' was there beyond the grim, cold men and women that bore that sought-after title.

The Ravens, those elite of the elite, the great and terrible mercenaries and their towering death machines.

The ultimate adjudicators, none of them served any one master, and neither was there any love lost between them. Ravens killed Ravens wherever they met on opposite sides, with only their own luck to blame for being pitted against a former comrade.

And she, as the spider that had held them all together, the one who had built the Raven's Nest for the sole purpose of using the Ravens to mediate the world's battles, to control the damage done as a result by letting these titans fight the wars as representatives of their employers...

She looked bleakly up at the sky, seeing the chaotic waves of bullets, their shooters moving as if in an elaborate dance...but she knew it was a dance where only one would remain standing at the end of it.

A world where all disputes were settled so casually with this bizarre form of blood sport...

For a moment, she faltered, the far more human side of Nineball Seraph wondering briefly if, perhaps, it might not have been best to remain back in their own world-

Before Hustler One, the infinitely cold, calculating creature of logic that was the other half of Nineball Seraph, delivered the digital equivalent of something his databases described as 'the Bright Slap'.

Sakuya raised an eyebrow as the outsider girl staggered, seemingly struck by an invisible blow.

"You...what the hell was that for, you bastard...?!" Lana hissed, wincing slightly as her data pathways reknitted themselves.

And Hustler One's response came back as smoothly as ever, effortlessly seizing her head and turning it back up to look at the sky overhead. She struggled for an instant, angry and annoyed at his sudden abruptness, glaring sullenly at the lights overhead for several moments without understanding.

It was only then, when the data that Nineball had patiently been compiling microsecond by microsecond, even while she had been struggling to make sense of anything, reached her, Hustler One's iron logic FINALLY finding something clear and present that it could be applied to at last, that she understood.

What had seemed like complete chaos a moment ago suddenly fell perfectly into place. Beneath the walls of bullets, all comprised of some odd energy she couldn't yet identify, beneath the insanity of flashing lights and brilliant color...

...there was a pattern.

It was like viewing one of those optical illusions she'd often been fond of, back in her days as administrator of the Ravens, where you searched the picture for something, poring over it, until suddenly the white candlestick on a black background is no longer as such, but is instead the silhouette of two opposing faces silhouetted against the white background, the candlestick now becoming the empty space separating them.

And of course, once it changed, suddenly it was all too obvious, and you just couldn't understand how you had ever seen it otherwise mere moments ago.

Such was the feeling of Lana Nielsen as the chaos in front of her suddenly showed the true order lying beneath the surface.

There was, despite all other appearances to the contrary, an actual, recognizable pattern to the damn thing. There were actual gaps in the walls of bullets, each glowing shot with just BARELY enough space between them for a nimble opponent with enough skill to dart through.

It was as though they were deliberately making allowances for the opponent's dodging...

That was when she realized what it was.

"Not like the Ravens at all..."

It was a god damned COMPETITION!

A clash of skill, like the old duelling societies of old, a clash of metaphorical blades to settle any conflicts of interest.

...well, except with magic bullets instead of swords.

And like, a CRAPTON more bullets.

Seeing the look on Lana's face as she came to grips with the situation, Daiyousei finally took pity on her.

"Um, miss Sakuya...can you please stop teasing her like that...? Sh-she's still only new here..."

Lana looked around, blinking. Teasing...?

A chuckle sounded, and she turned to see Sakuya hiding a faint smirk.

"...did you really think we were barbaric enough to settle arguments with full-fledged fights to the death?" She laughed, a clear sound...though Hustler One's red gaze dimmed, feeling a strange edge of bitterness behind it. Now that he considered it, this Sakuya, in all her manner and actions gave him an odd...sense, like the well-worn edge of a often-used knife...

...there was a momentary pause.

...and since when exactly had he ever been given to metaphors? Annoyed, he triggered another datacheck, well aware that by now the action was more rote than anything useful, and turned back to monitoring the fight...

...and missing the brief flicker of Sakuya's expression as he did so, as though she had felt him watching.

Clearing her throat slightly, she stepped back daintily.

"...I apologize. However, it has been a while since I encountered someone with the same sort of instincts as myself, so I couldn't resist a brief jest." She gave a slight bow.

...unsurprisingly, Lana had no need for clarification about the 'instincts' the steel haired maid was referring to.

Different worlds, different people, different rules...but in the end, one killer would always recognize another.

* * *

**A/N:** In which tempers flare, trouble ensues, Hustler and Lana meet their first danmaku fight, MORE F*CK YEAH CIRNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO and thenOHSHITSAKUYAINYOURBASEAMBUSHINGYOURDOODZ/BEING GAR AS HELL

...seems like a pretty accurate summary as far as I'm concerned. ^^

Additionally, it just wouldn't be a Super Robot tale without a Bright Slap somewhere. Because as similar as the method of 'settling disputes' might be, it's not nearly as bitter or cruel as the wars of the Armored Core world.

Not to mention that Hustler One is probably still in denial over the whole 'magic' thing.

And for any of you who understood the FINGER reference, you're definitely Ravens. XD


	13. 13: Mirror-Mirror

**Chapter 13: Mirror/Mirror...**

* * *

"So what you're telling me..." Lana said eventually, "...Is that you all settle your disputes by trading ridiculous amounts of non-lethal firepower?"

Sakuya casually sidestepped as a row of Onbashira slammed into the ground where she was standing previously, before they vanished, their owner summoning new ones high above.

"Essentially, yes. Though I wouldn't say that non-lethal translates to non-painful. It still hurts like the devil if you take a direct hit from some of the more...powerful characters around here."

"Yes, I got that impression." Lana said dryly as she stepped under a wayward spike of ice. "So now that's been settled, what are these 'spellcards' I heard about?"

"Ah, yes, those..." The maid replied. "Well...in short, they are a way of allowing all of us to use our more powerful abilities, while still keeping to the non-lethal nature of the battle. Whichever ability we intend to use, we call out the corresponding card as a declaration of use, and then we use it. For example..."

Sakuya held up a single card.

"W-wait, Miss Sakuya!" Daiyousei yelped, her eyes wide in alarm as she realized the maid's intent. "You can't-!"

**[Illusion Existence "Clock Corpse" ]**

Lana Nielsen _blinked,_ dozens of knives appearing in the air around her-

And Nineball Seraph came to life.

There was an almighty _crash_ of steel, enough that even the colossal airborne battle paused, Kanako and Cirno looking down to find the source.

Suwako gave a low whistle.

"Impressive...!"

The black and gold 9 burning in her left eye, Lana Nielsen glared across at the silver-haired maid. Gripped tightly by the blades, her fingers fairly bristled with an impressive number of knives, her arms crossed in front of her. Despite the slightly tattered edges of her outfits, not a single one had drawn blood, her jaws clenching tightly over the tips of several more knives. Whatever she hadn't managed to catch was now part of the small forest of blades scattered in the grass around her, hilts jutting up from the soft earth.

Sakuya gave a sardonic smile.

"I assume that was enough of a demonstration for you...and the one supporting you?"

In the depths of the black and red hulk, the digital gaze of Hustler One narrowed.

So...this one was indeed as perceptive as was previously estimated...

Hardlight teeth ground together, knifetips snapping with a ringing crack as the Administrator's jaw tightened, broken blades clattering to the ground around her as she dropped the rest of the knives.

"...well spotted." She replied finally, a hard smile on her features. "As for your demonstration...yes, it was..." Her eyes narrowed, a mocking smile on her face. "...well, it was 'adequate'."

"A shame...I do endeavor to provide the highest class of service." The steel-haired maid gave a rueful shrug. "Though perhaps your standards are simply too low to appreciate such quality."

Knives shattered as Lana Nielsen raised one hand, simulated knuckles cracking as she flexed her fingers.

"I do apologize in that case..."That smile was still on her face, but with no warmth behind it. "I suppose it's just been too long since I've crossed paths with a truly high class enemy~!"

The words of praise were well deserved, Lana speaking now both for herself and Hustler. The gears of the world had frozen, for a period of time almost too small for even the devastating intellect of Nineball Seraph to catch...and in that time, dozens of knives had materialized in the air, enclosing Lana Nielsen in a sphere of deadly blades.

That monstrous power to halt time...using that moment, the maid had used the afterimages of a single knife to create dozens more, leaving them hanging in the air for the moment when the world began to move once more, all of them hurtling in to skewer the Administrator.

Only the vastly enhanced combat suite that Lana Nielsen possessed, along with the impossibly fast data-processing speed of the ancient AI had allowed the Administrator to escape unharmed.

True, the spellcards and so forth seemed to be a method of limiting such power, and Hustler One could now understand why...but that attack had most certainly NOT been non-lethal, even by the standards of this place.

While it had indeed allowed him to easily disassemble and decipher the way the flow of 'power' in the environment had changed, allowing such feats to be manifested, i.e how to create and use a spellcard...he still wasn't certain he understood the overkill-like feeling of the attack.

...at least, not until he felt the wave of animosity surging through Lana Nielsen.

"You know, I can't quite shake the feeling that you seem a bit too eager to kill me." The Administrator smiled warmly. "That would have killed a lot of other people, you know?"

"Indeed." Sakuya replied with an equally carefree smile. "And for that, I must apologize again..."

Knives glinted at her sides.

"You see, I'm afraid there's just something about you that truly irritates me. I'm terribly sorry, but I really just can't control myself."

Loud metallic cracks sounded, Lana Nielsen flexing her neck first to the left and then the right.

"I'm glad to hear it..." She replied nonchalantly. "Because as much as I hate to admit it, ever since I met you, there's simply something about you that just plain pisses me off."

Wriggle swallowed, sparks crackling in the air between the two eerily smiling figures.

"H-hey, uh...isn't this starting to get a little, um...bad...?"

Rumia peered out from behind her, wide-eyed.

"...I dunno about you, but I'm definitely not going out there...!"

Without another word, both women started walking towards one another.

_'That natural air of superiority...that smile that constantly seemed to mock her...a know-it-all attitude...slender limbed, with a serene beauty that seemed perfectly natural...combined with that unshakable poise, graceful style and unparalleled killer instinct...'_

No...Lana Nielsen decided, an ominous black and gold shine in her eyes as she continued forward. Both as a woman, and as a killer, she wasn't about to let herself lose out to this damned maid!

_'That natural air of superiority...that smile that constantly seemed to mock her...a know-it-all attitude...slender limbed, with a serene beauty that seemed perfectly natural...combined with that unshakable poise, graceful style and unparalleled killer instinct...'_

No, Sakuya Izayoi decided, a deadly red glint in her eyes as she continued forward. As a woman, and as a killer, she wasn't about to let herself lose out to this damned glasses-doll-girl!

* * *

...he'd heard a saying once, Hustler One recalled, feeling something close to nervousness.

Opposites attract, and likes repel...

For the first time he realized what had been bothering him the most about the maid.

Take away the knives, give her longer hair, and give her a red and black color scheme, and she'd be a near perfect duplicate of Lana Nielsen, right down to the faintly smug personality and the attitude that seemed entirely unimpressed by anyone and anything in her way.

Or seen from another angle, shorten her hair, and dress her as a European maid with far too many knives on her person, and it would be impossible to see Lana as anything but a recolored copy of Sakuya Izayoi.

A killing instinct honed from centuries of operating as the 'face' of Nineball Seraph, Hustler One knew firsthand the steel core of Lana's personality. He'd watched her bloody her hands without a moment's hesitation for the sake of preserving the balance of their world, even as his bullets destroyed every Raven that did the same.

This is what had disturbed him so.

Somehow, in this steel-haired maid, he saw the same instinct. And even more eerie, was the same way in which she wore it, hidden beneath the smooth, efficient veneer of her personality.

She was no rabid murderer, a mad dog that killed without whim.

She was an assassin, a killer that would shed blood only at a time and place of her choosing, with utterly ruthless precision at that moment. Graceful, deadly and efficient, she was anything but indiscriminate, always controlled and cool, no matter the situation.

He could be wrong, Hustler knew. He had only even met this maid a few minutes ago, so how could he know such things about her?

The answer lay in the red and black figure with the golden hair.

Lana Nielsen was Hustler One...and Hustler One was Lana Nielsen.

He knew her as well as he knew himself, both from their shared minds, and from centuries of watching her in action.

And in that maid, he saw a reflection of her.

It was no wonder it had come to this, he thought bleakly, as the two walking figures slowly began to accelerate.

All individuals thought they were perfect...until given the chance to see themselves in the mirror.

* * *

As the gears of the world began to turn once more in Sakuya's wake, digital pathways surging to life through the programming of Lana Nielsen, the two fighters above them paused, feeling the change in the air.

"The maid...?" Kanako's eyes narrowed. "I didn't expect that..."

"Wow!" Cirno clapped her hands together in delight. "Just as I thought, she really is strong! Challenging that scary maid straight off the bat..."

"Er..." Kanako gave the ice fairy an uneasy look. "...whatever happened to 'she doesn't know how to use spellcards' and all that?"

"...oh yeah." Cirno blinked. "That's...kinda bad..."

But even as she turned back to look down at the two rapidly closing combatants, it soon became clear to everyone that something like that wasn't about to stop a pissed off Lana Nielsen.

Mystia looked around nervously, the woods around them suddenly seeming unaccountably dark.

"Uh...is anyone else getting the weird feeling that...they're being watched...?"

* * *

As the sound of feathers rustled through the trees surrounding the clearing, Sakuya's smirk widened.

"As I expected...you've already figured out how danmaku works, haven't you?"

Lana's right hand stiffened, fingers curling into claws as she grinned right back.

"Something like that...I suppose your little demonstration helped after all."

The power to disassemble this so called 'magic' from but a single observed instance, and to translate it into scientific code, understandable by a machine...that was the power of Hustler One. Sakuya's one use of her 'spellcard', and the data that had steadily been collected as the danmaku battle raged overhead, all of it had finally been quantified into crisp, clear equations and processes, all revolving around the mysterious natural energy present in the environment, and indeed, present in varying levels of strength in each of the native residents he had seen.

But while he now possessed the method of this madness, Hustler One, as a creature of logic, mechanical thought, and scientific deduction was incapable of using it for himself. There were still too many undefinable variables, such as 'belief', or 'imagination', all unquantifiable concepts required for the user of this 'magic' to shape and wield it according their choice.

That was the ability that allowed Kanako's attacks to take the form of colossal Onbashira, or brilliantly colored magic bullets, or Sakuya's ability to control time.

But while Hustler One himself possessed none of the faculties to actually USE this now-translated enigma...there was someone who could.

Someone with enough of a mechanical intellect to understand the complex code produced by Hustler's translation...but also someone with a mindset human enough to supply that last missing link between mere 'theory' and actual 'practice'.

An AI designed to be human...

The living half of Nineball Seraph, Lana Nielsen.

One hundred connections disengaged, and one hundred more connected, the Iron Administrator's virtual veins singing as thousands of calculations raced through her mind at once, analyzing and breaking down the concept of 'magic' as Hustler One had finally quantified it, the intangible becoming tangible as she focused.

A snap of displaced air, silver steel flashing through the air, pale fingers stiffening and stabbing forward, red, black and gold slamming into blue, white and silver.

Daiyousei let out a yelp, stumbling backwards as an invisible shockwave rippled past her.

In the center of the clearing, light flickered, sparks flying as a metallic screeching filled the air. Four knives held between her knuckles, Sakuya's strike matched Lana's fingers, razor-edged steel grating and screeching against the hard-light surface, both struggling to overpower one another.

Lit by the sparks of the clash, the Devil's Maid glared across at the Administrator, a look of savage enjoyment on her face.

"Well?" She asked, casually. "Aren't you going to introduce your other half...?"

Lana bared her teeth in a savage smile, staring back at her.

"So, you've seen that far, have you...? Fine then..." The black and gold sign in her left eye flashed. "His name...is Hustler One!"

* * *

**A/N:** ...in which the fecal matter hits the revolving ceiling-mounted ventilator.

Translation: RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

*cough*

Anywayyyyy...yeah, for some reason, I got it into my head that, personality-wise, Sakuya and Lana Nielsen are...pretty much mirror images of one another. So completely identical in a lot of their mannerisms and actions that on sight, they'd either be the greatest of friends...or they'd hate each other almost immediately.

Then again, some great friendships have begun by kicking the crap out of each other, so who knows? 8D

...though, I will add that they both do possess core differences, most of which the reader can probably think of on his own.

Here, I'm more focusing on their identical killing instincts and their 'ruthlessness', the more assassin-like side of their nature.

...though there probably will be other similarities later on, just for added entertainment. ^^

Aside from that...I blame Hellsing for this chapter. I'm not sure why, but it's just the classy-killer vibe I get from these two ladies.

Finally, you're beginning to get a glimpse of the 'mechanics' of how Lana Nielsen will be getting around her normal inability to use magic, due to not possessing any of her own.

Anyhow, read, enjoy and review please, just so I can get a sort of idea of the reader traffic for this fic.

Thanks!


	14. 14: ' Quoth the Raven-'

**Chapter 14: Quoth The Raven...**

* * *

Sakuya's eyes widened for a moment, Lana shifting her balance and lashing out with a roundhouse kick. A blur of grey, the maid dropping almost all the way to the ground as she ducked the kick, before skating around in a cloud of dust, lashing out at the unprotected red-and-black back.

A twist of her waist, and Lana whirled, the blades slashing across her flank before she brought an elbow down with crushing force onto the maid's shoulder.

Colors flashed in a blur of motion, and then Sakuya was away again, flipping gracefully through the air, despite her arm hanging limp at her side, Lana staggering back a step, one hand clutching at her waist, light sparking and dancing through her fingers.

"Son of a..."She gritted. "That actually HURT...!"

A hard-light hologram she might be, but she still possessed an Exceed Orbit as her physical core. Attacks that could breach her body, i.e. the forcefields giving her mass and solidity to strike the core beneath, were as painful a wound as it would be on normal flesh and blood.

Sakuya touched down lightly, a faint grimace crossing her face as her limp right arm twinged with pain at the motion.

"Dislocated...well played." With a sickening crack and a pop, she effortlessly fixed it back into place, only a slight tightening of her expression to indicate that she had felt the pain, flexing her fingers to work out the faint tremors running through it.

Yes...just as she had expected, this newcomer was indeed dangerous. Merely explaining the rules of Gensokyo would likely have had little to no impact on her, much like it had on Sakuya herself. Had it not been for her mistress keeping her in check, she most likely never would have understood neither the purpose nor the sense of such rules...

She suspected the second presence she felt behind Lana Nielsen, the enigmatic force now named Hustler One, had a similar, if not more informal relationship with the other killer. As a result she had easily shown off one of her spellcards as merely an example. If this newcomer was anything close to what Sakuya had been, and indeed, still was, that would have been enough.

A true killer learned not through words, but by action, adapting and learning through battles on the edge of life-and-death. Learn how to survive a new type of attack, or die.

...though, she supposed it helped that the gold-haired woman also seemed to be familiar with the concept of settling disputes through battle. Although in her case, it seemed to be less like the mock battles of danmaku, and instead true battle to the death.

It was then she was aware that the rustling sound, which had been growing to a crescendo, had suddenly stopped, the other members of Team Nineball looking around at the suddenly foreboding woods with wary expressions.

* * *

In the darkness of Nineball Seraph, Hustler One raised a metaphorical eyebrow as he felt the flow of the world change. The channels of power running through Lana Nielsen suddenly solidifying, he realized that the slow, hidden process of trial and error she had been running internally, attempting to properly apply the translations and processes he had provided to the real world, had finally completed. A slow trickle at first, beginning from her first blow at the steel-haired maid, then slowly swelling to a constant stream, becoming smoother and easier as she adapted to manipulating this new 'power' through Nineball Seraph's systems...

Bit by bit, she had exerted that power, almost unnoticeable over the last few minutes, as if testing her legs.

Now, she was ready, and confident that she had finally gotten the hang of it.

That constant 'testing' was the reason for the ominous presence now watching silently from the branches of every tree.

As beady red eyes blinked down at her from the darkness, Sakuya straightened up with a mocking grin.

"Oh~? I was beginning to wonder if I'd have to wait until sunset at this rate."

A vein twitched in Lana's forehead as she gave a fixed smile in return. Oh yes, this woman REALLY pissed her off...

"My apologies...I was simply trying to come up with a suitably fitting response to your earlier...'demonstration'."

**PROTOCOL: 'CURTAIN FIRE' SUCCESSFULLY COMPILED.**

"I'll admit, it is...interesting, to work with such a peculiar system of combat mechanics." She tilted her head. "Completely different from my usual fare...and yet somehow, it's quite liberating."

**PROTOCOL: 'SPELLCARD' SUCCESSFULLY COMPILED.**

"I thought you might see it that way." Sakuya grinned. "A method of combat where the only defining factor is the mind shaping the magic, and the strength to use it..."

**PROTOCOLS UPLOADING TO UNIT ' NIELSEN. EXE '...**

"Learn or die, I believe the old saying goes."

**...UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL.**

Hustler One gave a shudder of distaste as he felt the natural energy of Gensokyo, this so-called 'magic', flowing into and through him, his strange new ability to utilize it as a power source allowing him to relay it through to Lana. A strange duo, he provided the power, and she provided the use.

The gears of the world trembled, Sakuya readying herself for the oncoming assault.

Lana Nielsen extended a hand in front of her, palm up.

Black feathers drifting down around her, a single shimmering rectangle of light appeared in Lana's outstretched hand.

"They're not the Raven's I'm used to working with..." She grinned. "But it seems even here, the title of the Administrator of Raven's Nest still carries weight."

She crushed the lit rectangle in a fist, a sound like glass breaking in the air.

**"Nine Sign..._NEVERMORE!_"**

The darkness in the trees boiled to life, black feathers, red eyes and flashing talons erupting into the air as a black tide of ravens appeared, screeching as they hurtled towards Sakuya.

The maid gave another of her cold smiles, her eyes glinting with enjoyment.

"Crude...very crude, but effective nonetheless!"

Launching herself into the air, she dodged and dove, always staying just ahead of the swarm, hurling wave after wave of deadly steel knives back into the black surge.

Whenever a raven was struck, it squawked and vanished, disintegrating back into the natural environment.

"That's right..."Lana snarled triumphantly. "The Administrator of Ravens is my title, and under my command, Ravens lived, and Ravens died!"

The dark tide swelled and split, branching into two wings that swept around to Sakuya's sides.

"Hmm, you're learning..." The maid murmured, before ignoring the pincer attack entirely and charing straight down the middle, hurling knives as she went.

"Wh-what?!"

Cursing, Lana staggered back, barely escaping the knives that grazed her digital body with more than a few scratches.

"But haven't you forgotten? Just because you've got a spellcard in play doesn't mean the game is over yet."

And Sakuya was suddenly right in front of her, a long, stocking-clad leg lashing out and blasting the Administrator off her feet.

* * *

Mystia squeaked, leaping into the air as she flew past, smashing into a nearby tree. Grunting, Lana lowered her hasty block, arms sizzling as she watched Nevermore disappear.

"That's what we call 'spell break'."

Looking up, she grimaced, seeing Sakuya standing as relaxed as ever in midair, looking coolly down at her.

"Is that so..." The black and red AI growled. "And what does THAT mean, now?"

"It means that when all of your cards are 'broken', you lose the fight!"

Her head snapped around, to find the diminutive figure with the strange hat staring back at her.

Clinging upside down to a tree branch, Suwako grinned.

"You're not bad for a first timer! If we'd known you could fight that well, I might've just let you duke it out with Kanako after all!"

She paused.

"Course, you'd've still lost, but I think you'd have made her work for it still." She scratched her head sheepishly.

"M-miss Suwako, please don't encourage this...!" Daiyousei pleaded shakily.

Wriggle on the other hand, was staring at the gold-haired figure with a new look in her eyes.

"...and this is her first time using danmaku...?" She whistled. "Either the maid's getting old, or that doll-girl is a serious player!"

"WHO'S AN OLD MAID?!" They jumped, and dove for cover as an irate voice boomed overhead.

"THEY WEREN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU, KANAKO!" Suwako yelled back up. "Jeez...I swear, sometimes I think all her temper control went into her boobs..."

"I HEARD THAT, YOU JAILBAIT LOLITA!"

"OH YEAH?! SORRY, WHO'S GOT A LINE OF DESCENDANTS IN MORIYA?! NOOOOOOOOOT YOUUUUUUU!"

"SH-SHUT UP! I'M...I'M WAITING FOR THE RIGHT GUY, OKAY?!"

"...not touching that one." Wriggle grumbled, ignoring the two goddesses' argument entirely.

"Hmmm...I dunno..." Rumia said finally. "I think the maid was doing that deliberately...Or at least, I think it's BECAUSE she was trying to kill doll-lady so much that the doll-lady could fight back so well."

"...you mean because she's ALSO a bloody maniac, Sakuya knows how she thinks?" Wriggle stared at her in disbelief. "What, like some kind of crash course for homicidal psychopaths?"

"I think so, yeah...though I dunno how much 'psychopath' applies, they seemed a lot calmer than that..."

"...and wait, hang on, how do YOU know what Sakuya and her are thinking like?!" The firefly demanded.

Rumia grinned.

That is to say, there were teeth showing.

Very sharp ones.

"...point taken." Wriggle wordlessly let that train of conversation die an abrupt death and turned to look back as wood creaked, Lana getting slowly back to her feet.

* * *

"So...by those rules, then, I broke one of yours...and you broke one of mine." The Administrator glared up at Sakuya, one side of her glasses cracked from the last impact. "I don't think I'm happy with settling for a truce."

"Good to hear..." The cold smile was back, Sakuya's eyes alive again. "For some reason, the thought of breaking even with you leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

"H-hey, wait..." Suwako spoke up worriedly. "No offense, but do you even HAVE a second spellcard? You made that one up on the fly just now, didn't you...?"

"Yes..." The Steel Administrator growled, shrugging off the frog goddess' hand, adjusting her spectacles as she stormed forward. "But I can assure you, I'll think of something...!"

"Very good..." the steel haired maid felt her smile widen, feeling the killing urge in the air, emanating once again from her opponent. "Then come on, miss 'Iron Adminstrator'!"

Light flashed around Lana Nielsen, red and black orbs dancing around her as she used her knowledge of spellcard use to craft normal danmaku. Across the field, silver danced and flickered through the air, dozens of knives orbiting Sakuya.

"The one person I just can't stand..." Lana growled.

"...is you!" Sakuya gritted, her eyes hardening.

And with that, as danmaku erupted to life around the two, magic bullets hammering away at each other and the surroundings, silver and blue lunged to meet gold and red in a wild yell...

...that was utterly drowned out by a wordless steel roar, and a voice crying out.

_**"PERFECT FREEZE!"**_

The clearing exploded under a colossal impact, the earth shaking with the force.

* * *

"Ugh...! Wh-what the..." Suwako covered her face with one hand, shielding herself from the dust. "Oi, Kanako, what the hell was that?!"

"...see for yourself." The Goddess of War replied, her voice flat with shock from her position in the air.

The battlefield was alive with light, ice and frozen bits of danmaku drifting lightly through the air.

In the center, Sakuya and Lana stood still, both having managed to halt themselves in time to ram into the ones who had split the fight in two.

On one side, knives still upraised, Sakuya found herself staring into the side of a colossal icicle, deadly tip embedded over a meter into the ground with room to spare, the familiar shape of Cirno still holding onto it, a cross look on her face.

"No more bullying miss doll-lady!"

And on the other side, an unmistakable titan towered over them all. His black and red hulk scarred and battered, Nineball Seraph's shattered stump of an arm had driven into the ground just in front of Lana, stopping her charge easily, Hustler One's displeasure clearly visible in the ruined visor that glared angrily down at her.

"...tch." She huffed, the black and gold sign disappearing from her left eye.

"What the..." Wriggle gaped. "But...that thing was...and then..."

She was silent for a moment.

"HOW THE HELL DID A HALF DEAD WRECK LIKE THAT JUST...CROSS FIFTY METERS LIKE THAT?!"

* * *

Only Kanako, high above, knew the answer to that particular question...

Even as Lana Nielsen had been getting to her feet again, that massive red and black figure had begun to move, as if sensing the danger.

For a minute, she had seen the same dark mass, much like what Lana's Nevermore had produced, appear, stitching itself through the rents in Nineball's hull. And then that machine had moved, faster, and more precise than anything she'd ever seen.

It had only been for an instant, but...she had seen the full shape of that machine, the steel 'wings' flaring, armored heels pounding the earth as those fierce, clawed hands reached out, gold visor burning...

There was nothing left now but the wreck once more, but Kanako knew what she'd seen.

A mech with the power of magic, even if only sparingly...just what kind of machine was this...?!

* * *

Cursing behind the emotionless mask, Hustler One writhed in pain. All of his wounds, his damage...all of it had struck him again, a result of his foolhardy overexertion...

Attempting to reach through Lana, to manipulate a fraction of her 'Ravens' to temporarily reconstitute enough motor systems and limbs to move had worked...for a space of fifty meters, before the excruciating digital pain of even handling such a blasphemous concept had broken his connection, arms and legs of darkness crumbling to dust even as he lunged forward.

Now, as he sprawled here, glowering down at Lana, he privately swore that, as far as he was concerned, Lana could KEEP her damned 'magic'...he wanted no part of it. Half of his formerly functional systems were dead now, corrupted into uselessness because of that wild gamble...!

And that's when he felt a peculiar sensation.

Turning, the great steel head looked blankly over his shoulder, in Sakuya's direction-

Only to find the blue-whit fairy staring back at him in a similar pose, a massive ice crystal in front of Sakuya proving easily that they had both, despite the unlikeliest of chances, moved and struck out in exactly the same way, at the same time, with the same idea.

Hustler One blinked.

Cirno stared.

"...hi!"

And after a bewildered moment, the battered steel head nodded in response.

There was silence.

* * *

Further away, out in the center of the lake, a green haired figure burst to the surface, sucking in a deep breath of air. Soggy cardboard armor clinging to a nearly nude body, her bikini top labeled with '3' and '(9)' across the right and left breasts respectively, Sanae Kochiya looked around for a moment.

"...MISTER HUSTLER, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUU?!" She wailed, splashing.

There was a pause.

She shivered.

"...for some reason, I feel like I just missed seeing something really scary." She said finally, looking around uneasily. "Wah-choo!"

* * *

**A/N:** In which Sakuya is revealed to actually have a pretty okay motive for acting this way...well, aside from the fact that she and Lana Nielsen are nearly identical in personality, and therefore can't stand the sight of one another.

But that's just an added perk. ^^

You also get to see the 'system' by which an artificial being like Lana, with no 'magic' can still use spellcards. She and Hustler One are a team, with the raw processing power of Hustler disassembling the workings of this 'magic' into a form their digital minds can understand, and Lana providing the 'human mind' that can interpret and use the compiled algorithms. It's sort of like using Hustler One and the systems of Nineball Seraph as an 'adapter' of sorts. As she has no magic of her own, Nineball Seraph acts as a conduit, drawing the natural magic of the environment in, and transforming it into a form she CAN use.

As for her choice of spellcard...well, it just seemed fitting, somehow. *sweat*

...also I make no apologies for the cheesiness of the name of the card. I was already going down the whole 'ravens' wordplay, so I figured I might as well go off the deep end with it. XD


	15. 15: The More Things Change

**Chapter 15: The More Things Change...**

* * *

Sakuya hesitated for a moment longer, before giving a faint sigh, straightening up and relaxing her stance, knives flicking out of sight even as Lana mirrored the motion with an equally disgruntled expression.

There was an awkward moment as they both realized their identical motions, but a warning rumble from the red and black machine coupled with a chill in the air promptly reminded them of the situation.

"...Very well." The maid said smoothly. "At any rate, I believe this should be enough of an 'orientation' for you to successfully find your way around here..."

Lana's eyes narrowed at that, but in the end, she was forced to admit the point.

...particularly galling was the fact that, if their roles had been reversed, this was PRECISELY the same action that she would have taken.

So instead, she contented herself with a stiff nod, and left it at that.

"Amazing...truly amazing...!"

Looking up, she was rewarded by the sight of Kanako descending towards them, one arm folded across her chest, the other reaching up to rub her chin, a...slightly predatory look in her eye.

"A construct capable of using magic...up to the level of spellcards to boot!" She gave a calculating smile. "...oh yes, you really ARE a piece of work, aren't you!"

"..." In this case, Lana decided, survival was the better part of valor.

"...er...maid?" She muttered out of the corner of her mouth.

"...yes?"

"...is it wrong that I feel...faintly unnerved by the way that woman with all the logs is looking at me...?"

Sakuya seemed to consider the question for a moment.

"...considering that you seem to be a highly advanced construct beyond even her scientific capability...and capable of utilizing magic on a scale that not even the Seven-Colored Puppeteer's dolls can..." She cleared her throat apologetically. "...that would probably be an appropriate reaction, yes."

"Oi, Kanako...your geek side is showing again."

"Gah...!" Catching herself, Kanako shot a dirty look at the smug frog goddess off to the side. "Sh-shut it, you..."

Clearing her throat, she landed in front of them as her Onbashira dematerialized once more, a process which Lana noted with interest before turning back to the war goddess.

"...I apologize for our...less than stellar first meeting." Kanako said, looking slightly put out still. "As I mentioned before, I am Kanako Yasaka, reigning goddess of the Moriya Shrine in Gensokyo...and an avid scientist."

"...I am Lana Nielsen, the Administrator of Ravens." Lana replied guardedly. "We're...not from around here."

"So I gathered." Kanako replied dryly. "When you've been here as long as we have, you learn to recognize 'Outsiders' quite easily...not to mention, of course, your truly incredible technological prowess."

"H-hold on a moment..." Lana held up one hand pleadingly. "...this isn't the first time I've heard this term 'outsider' being thrown around...not to mention I still have no idea exactly where 'here' is..."

"...Right, I forgot..." Kanako sighed. "You had the misfortune of having 'Team Nineball' as your welcoming committee, so chances are you're still missing a lot of information..."

That was when she realized that Lana was staring at her with a decidedly...mixed expression.

"...I'm sorry, was there something wrong with what I said?"

"Eh...? Ah, um...no, not exactly..." Lana started, looking slightly bewildered, "I'm just...er...Um, just...what did you call them...?"

Kanako blinked, but before she could answer, it was Daiyousei who spoke up instead.

"Well...that's the name our little group goes by..." She looked slightly embarrassed. "The five of us are 'Team Nineball'."

"I think it was meant as a bit of a joke, really..." Mystia drifted by overhead, adding her own two cents to the conversation. "...but we thought it sounded pretty cool, so the name stuck!"

Lana stared blankly at her for a moment, one eye twitching slightly.

...the irony here was so thick you could reasonably drown in it.

"Nineball...met by Team Nineball...oh har har, universe..." She muttered to herself, before dropping her head into her hand with another groan.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

Looking back up, she found Kanako watching her with a bewildered expression.

"Oh, ah...nothing, nothing." She replied hastily. "Just...thinking out loud, is all..."

Clearing her throat, she recovered her composure before continuing.

"...admittedly, I hadn't learned much from them before...well..." She shot the war goddess a pointed look. "...but at the very least, they were able to tell me about youkai and so on before we were interrupted."

The verbal jab sailing straight over her head completely unnoticed, Kanako tapped her chin in thought.

"I see...very well then." She turned to look across at Lana for a moment. "Ordinarily, I'd take you up a bit higher to get a better view, but somehow I think you had a good enough shot on the way down."

Lana's eyebrow twitched for a second, recalling the chaos of Nineball Seraph's fall to earth.

"...you could say that, yes."

"In that case...well, welcome to Gensokyo, miss 'Administrator'." Kanako leaned back, resting one hand on her hip as she went on. "The 'Eastern Wonderland', a sort of sanctuary for all things fantastical and mythical."

"Gods, devils, celestials, and all other kinds of crazy stuff...you can probably find it all here." Suwako chimed in. "Everyone's got their own reasons for coming here, like in our case...some people have just been here since before it was 'closed off', like the oni...and some people, like you, just end up here by the whims of fate."

"W-wait...so...when you say closed off...and 'outsider'..." Lana looked up and around, an unsettled look on her face.

"...y-you mean to say...this whole place, all of this land...is all just one big sealed...'dimension' or something?" She looked back down, her expression incredulous. "That...that breaks so many different laws of physics that I don't even know where to begin!"

"We-eeeell..." Suwako looked hesitant, "I'm...not exactly sure you can call it THAT...In a way, it's more like this whole land has been 'removed' from the flow of time and space...or something like that."

She gave a sheepish grin.

"...Kanako tried to explain it to me once. It...didn't really make much sense."

"...which is why I'M the one giving this welcoming speech, thank you very much!" The older goddess ground one fist down on top of Suwako's head, before resuming.

"Gensokyo exists on a certain world in the multiverse...but we're more or less completely sealed off from the outside world. That way, even though old myths and legends are constantly fading, they can always find a home here, somewhere that they won't simply fade away as the human race continues further on into the future of cold, hard, facts."

"...'science is the enemy of faith'." Lana murmured, realizing what she was getting at. "...In other words, all myths and legends can only remain 'alive' so long as there are those who believe in them..."

She thought of their home, the war-torn, Raven-stalked battlefields, and the harsh, unforgiving corporations that ruled it.

...well, there certainly were no myths or legends to be found there, she smiled wryly.

So as the human race became more pragmatic, and less inclined to believe in things from mythology and old wives' tales...

"...the more we fade away, yes." Kanako said grimly. "That's why, inevitably, we all end up here, the last, indestructible haven for all of us."

She looked up at the sky overhead.

"As others hear of it, so too will they come, making their last journey to the great Hakurei barrier and leaving the outside world behind."

"...wait...one of them mentioned there were humans here..." Lana's eyes narrowed. "...what gives?"

"...hm, nothing escapes you, does it..." Kanako gave her a calculating look. "...yes, there are humans here. Descendants of the original human settlement that was here when Gensokyo was first sealed, they serve as a bit of a...reminder to the rest of us to restrain our more...'enthusiastic' natures."

"Enthusiastic...?" The artificial red eyes narrowed for a moment, Lana thinking of Rumia and her...'tastes', before the real meaning dawned on her.

"...Balance."

Kanako gave an approving nod.

"Indeed...We watch over the humans, and in turn, their beliefs keep us alive...of course, youkai will be youkai, so sometimes things get a little...er...unfortunate." She cleared her throat, before looking away.

"...we call them 'Incidents'." Sakuya clarified nearby, a faint look of distaste crossing her face. "Even with measures such as the danmaku system, things sometimes still get a bit out of hand."

Lana's glasses flashed.

"...actually, I was going to ask about that." She said, "...no offense, but from what I'm seeing...shouldn't pretty much all of you be ridiculously powerful in some way or another? Why limit yourselves using a non-lethal system like this...?"

There was a pause.

"...ASIDE from the obvious answer of not wanting any accidental deaths." She added.

"Well, about that..." Kanako hedged. "...on the one hand, if all of us fought without restraint, there wouldn't be a Gensokyo for long, I can assure you."

"...and on the OTHER hand..." Sakuya shivered slightly. "...let's just say rules aren't any use without some kind of 'enforcement'."

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence as Lana digested that.

"Er." She said finally. "...I'm sorry, you mean to tell me there's something capable of holding off a class of creature that can CONTROL TIME?!"

"...for the record, I'm human."

"..noted." Lana winced. "But the point still stands."

"Weeeeee~eeeeell..." Suwako seemed to think for a moment. "...you remember that 'Great Hakurei Barrier' Kanako mentioned earlier?"

"...yes?"

"Okay...that was actually a combined effort between human and youkai. A human clan known as the Hakurei had long since had a shrine here in Gensokyo. Their role was in youkai extermination, destroying the more...dangerous, hostile wild youkai, and to protect the humans..."

"...and when the decision came to seal Gensokyo away, the Hakurei shrine maiden of the time combined her sealing power with that of the border youkai to create the Barrier."

There was silence as all eyes turned to Daiyousei, standing nearby and looking slightly sheepish.

"Er...I-I do pay attention in miss Keine's class...!"

"...there might be hope for 'Team Nineball' yet." Sakuya closed her eyes, smirking.

Lana on the other hand, was trying to make sense of the words still.

"So...this 'clan' was in charge of keeping the peace, essentially?" She scratched her chin in thought, murmuring to herself. "...I...yes, I suppose that would make sense...and then you say they combined this sealing power of theirs with that of the border youkai, essentially creating a closed space with this land inside of it...that might explain why there doesn't actually seem to be any real 'end' to this place. It probably expands as necessary, creating more land and space to accommodate the ones living here..."

"...that's pretty much it in a nutshell, yes." Kanako confirmed. "Gensokyo is a strange place, where borders and limits aren't really defined. A world within a world, if you will...but we just live here, so there's not really much any of us can tell about the details how the whole thing actually works. The only one who'd really know that is the creator herself."

"The border youkai...w-wait, hold on..." A disturbing thought presented itself to Lana, and she looked up warily. "Th-this...'border youkai'...she wouldn't happen to dress in violet...carry a parasol...and have long, blond hair, and a terrible sense of humor...would she...?"

"...that'd be her, yep." Suwako sighed.

"..."

And this, Lana Nielsen decided, was why she was never going to go anywhere near that...'thing' if she ever showed up again. At the very least, it did serve to explain the truly ludicrous power that Hustler One had seen in her presence...before she hurled them through time and space to...wherever this place was.

"...w-well, I gues that explains the 'enforcement'..." She managed to say.

"...actually, it doesn't." Kanako said guiltily. "Yukari's...weird, even by our standards."

"No." Sakuya spoke up again. "No...I'm afraid the REAL enforcer of balance...well, that has, and always will be the shrine maiden of Hakurei."

"...wait, you mean she's still alive?"

"...er, no. This is her descendant I'm speaking of."

"...oh. I see, so it's a generational thing...wait." Lana's head snapped up. "Did you say 'enforcer of balance'...?!"

The steel-haired maid blinked at the sudden interest .

"Ah...yes, I did...?"

...and so another piece of irony presented itself to the irritated Administrator. A new world...with the same old balance of power.

"The more things change..." She muttered under her breath.

...at that point she realized she hadn't heard any of Hustler One's normal, coldly smug logic over the course of this whole debate.

Turning with a silent query she beheld an unbelievable sight...

* * *

**A/N:** And yet ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!

...also, Lana now gets a much clearer picture of the world she's now stranded in, not to mention finding out some rather important information...

After all, it always pays to know who NOT to mess with in a new place.

Besides, one balance of power knows all too well what another would be capable of, so I think it's safe to say they'll be a bit wary of Reimu.

As for Yukari...well, Yukari. ^^;


	16. 16: The More They Stay The Same

**Chapter 16: ...The More They Stay The Same.**

* * *

"Ooh, that sounds hard...I dunno about you, but I would have dodged around to the side and tried hitting him from below!" Cirno grinned, perched atop the red and black chest, kicking her legs in the air.

Inside the ruined hulk of Nineball Seraph, Hustler One barely wasted a moment on a digital nod, furiously making notes.

This...this was unbelievable! For some strange reason, he and this odd little blue girl could understand one another perfectly, even WITHOUT his ability to speak!

Dozens of calculations streamed through his pathways, the powerful AI rapidly scanning through terabytes of data. While monitoring Lana's progress, he had accidentally made that discovery when Cirno had begun talking to him, feeling considerably astounded when the fairy had laughed at his astonished response.

One thing had led to another, and before long, he had found himself embroiled in a heated debate over the maneuvers of danmaku combat, and whether or not it could be applied to his own arsenal.

...at which point they'd begun comparing moves, which was when Hustler realized that this diminutive, scatter-brained fairy would be an absolute terror behind the controls of an AC.

He'd come up with multiple scenarios with ease...though couching them in terms of danmaku combat so as not to give away too much regarding the art of war as practiced by Ravens, and had queried the zero-K fairy on all of them.

He of course, had known the answers himself, as many of them were based on events and moments from his own extensive history of battle.

...and yet, he found his processors completely staggered by the responses she came up with.

On the surface, the natural first response to any of them would be to call them...well, 'idiotic' would be a compliment.

But on a whim, he had idly run one, just to satisfy Cirno's pouting, just to see what would have happened...and then he'd watched in the digital equivalent of slack-jawed disbelief as Leos Klein's AC exploded into flaming bits of data as the version of himself in the scenario carried out the move Cirno had recommended.

...it had to have been a fluke, right? That was the natural reaction anyone would have had on witnessing that. His strongest foe, the only one who had finally managed to destroy him at his strongest...

A faint chill in his databanks, Hustler One had pressed the attack, testing her more and more. With each scenario, the responses became even crazier, nothing anyone with half a brain would naturally come up with...

...and yet every single time, the black and red figure of Nineball Seraph stood proud in victory, resting one armored boot down atop mountains of shattered enemy Acs.

After he blankly watched her latest plan result in victory due to dropping half a mountain atop an oncoming horde of hacked versions of the lesser Nineball models, instantly winning the scenario without even the loss of a single AP point, Hustler One had quickly shelved his disbelief and instead started taking notes.

Idiotic?

Idiotic LIKE A FOX!

Whole swathes of data were added to his repertoire of combat procedures. He was CERTAIN some of them were impossible, but he'd take care of that housekeeping later. Right now, he was making damned certain to get as much as possible recorded in the first place, lest he miss another golden tactical nugget!

Leos Klein, you bastard, let's see you survive a second round!

Sensing Lana's stare, he gave a dismissive digital wave through their connection, and continued to code.

The Administrator of Ravens stared blankly at the two for several moments.

"...eyeeeeeah, she's...been like this for a while. " Wriggle said sheepishly. "I...think she's talking to that big metal guy?"

"Well...Cirno is Cirno, I guess?" Mystia gave an apologetic laugh. "Though, you have to admit, she's always liked this sort of stuff since that whole mess with Hisoutensoku..."

Lana, on the other hand, saw no reason for merriment, her artificial skin growing paler and paler as she listened to her other half's conversation, reading the vast new additions to the fearsome combat power of Nineball Seraph.

"...m-maid?"

Sakuya blinked, raising an eyebrow at the disturbed expression on the Iron Administrator's normally controlled features.

"...you said that Hakurei maiden was in charge of 'balance', right?"

"...yes?"

"...I may require her aid soon." Lana said flatly. "...because it's entirely possible that I might be looking at the beginning of Armageddon."

The maid blinked for a moment, completely at a loss for words.

"I...don't quite follow."

Lana looked at her.

Then she looked back at the meeting of one Nineball and another.

"...if you're anything like me, I think you can figure it out."

Sakuya turned to follow her gaze, to find the all-too recognizable figure of Cirno sitting atop the battered machine, home of that fearsome 'presence' Lana had called Hustler One.

They seemed to be getting along...quite well, surprisingly, considering their rather large differences.

...at least until Sakuya's eavesdropping on the one-sided conversation made her realize that they were actually trading tactics.

The gears of the world turned.

Because if Lana Nielsen's fighting strength was any example of the power Hustler One possessed...a presence as fearsome as that, given access to the unpredictable idiot genius of Cirno would equal...

Cirno blinked, time restarting as Sakuya reappeared next to Lana with the ice fairy held in one hand by the back of her collar, the maid looking distinctly shaken.

"...your point is well made, miss Nielsen."

"H-hey! What's the big idea?!" The ice fairy flailed, "I was talking to mister Hustler!"

Lana winced as a wave of displeasure rolled through her connection, Hustler One sounding identically displeased.

"...trust me, you'll thank me for it later." She replied sheepishly.

Kanako raised an eyebrow.

"Well...that was odd."

"Don't ask." Both Administrator and maid chorused flatly, not even bothering to get annoyed with their identical responses.

"...though it does seem as Cirno has a strange affinity for your, er...'friend' over there..." Kanako murmured, a canny look in her eyes. "Interesting..."

But catching herself, she quickly pulled herself back on topic.

"At any rate, that's more or less the story of Gensokyo in a nutshell." She said finally. " A sanctuary of sorts, balancing between humans and youkai, and a home to both. The Hakurei Shrine maiden is responsible for making sure we...mostly stick to the rules, and considering that Yukari is fanatically devoted to protecting both Gensokyo and the Hakurei line...it's generally just too much trouble to bother going overboard."

"Besides, it's kind of fun like this!" Suwako grinned. "After all, Kanako gets to have her dream of living together as a family with me and Sanae!"

A cloud of steam, a high-pitched squeak of outrage, and then Lana found herself treated to the sight of a brilliant red war goddess charging after the smaller frog goddess in a fit of outraged embarrassment.

As several trees toppled over, flashes of danmaku and Obashira hurtling in every direction, the Iron Administrator stood there, a blank look on her face.

"...is it always like this?"

Sakuya sighed.

"Regrettably, I'm afraid so."

Lana's shoulders slumped in despair, pressing one hand to her face.

"...I don't think I'm quite equipped to deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis."

Sakuya patted her on the shoulder.

"Not to worry. If I can survive my adorably cute gothloli vampire mistress' ridiculously moe wrath every day, I am fairly certain you won't do too badly yourself."

"..." Lana lifted her head, a faintly disturbed look on her face. "There were...just...SO many things wrong with that statement, I'm not sure where to begin."

The maid wordlessly passed her a photo.

"..."

There was a moment of silence.

"...justified." Lana said finally, passing it back. "I suppose time stopping does have other, more profitable uses."

"Indeed."

There was a brief silence as the two of them watched Suwako trick the war goddess into collapsing a tree on herself, shortly followed by another expletive as Onbashira hurled after her regardless of their mistress' temporary incapacitation.

"...I don't suppose there's any reasonable explanation as to why I'm suddenly in a maid outfit, is there?" Lana spoke up in a conversational tone.

"Well, considering the fact that you and your friend Mr. Hustler did considerable damage to my place of employment, I assumed it would only be fair of you to reimburse us while Lady Kanako arranges for him to be rebuilt." Sakuya replied in an equally casual tone.

"...and you assume this because...?"

"...well, as one of Gensokyo's leading scientific figures, and with strong connections to the best technological experts here as well, I thought it might not be too unsubstantiated a guess."

"...damn." Lana admitted grudgingly. "Okay, I WILL have to give you credit for stripping down and then redressing a holographic body...and also because let's face it, I still make this look good."

"Naturally." Sakuya gave a slight bow. "...I am, after all, the perfect maid."

There was a pause, before she added:

"Although, it is one of my...older uniforms, so it might be a little...loose, in the chest."

There was a long, long silence.

"...of course, you realize this means war." The Administrator went on without any change in her tone, stiffened fingers glinting.

In response, the Devil's maid smirked cheerfully, knives already gleaming in her hands.

* * *

"SUWAKO, YOU LITTLE MINX! DON'T MAKE ME FLY UP THERE! BECAUSE I WILL!"

Perched atop one of the few tall trees remaining, Suwako leered down at the other goddess far below.

"I TOLD you, Kanako...you really should be more honest! Otherwise...it's just way too much fun to tease you like this!"

"Why you...!"

Blushing, the war goddess gritted her teeth and drew her arm back, aiming another Onbashira up at the irritating little pain in the-

A blue-white blur hurtled past, smashing through the tree before hitting the ground hard.

"Eh?" Suwako blinked as her perch tilted forward, plummeting towards the ground.

"Hey, wait, no, I mean, LOOK OU-!"

CRASH!

When both goddesses finally did recover from getting smashed into one another with a falling tree, it was to see the blue figure resolving into Sakuya as she flipped back onto her feet, Lana Nielsen leaping past overhead and swinging down a discarded Onbashira.

"BANZAI, YOU SMUG, PERVERTED SON OF A-!"

* * *

For his part, Hustler One simply stared as the carnage unfolded. Strangely enough, he thought Lana might have indeed had a point.

This place, though strange, might well turn out to be a blessing in disguise. All his 'life' Hustler One knew only his task, his role as the ultimate balance of power...but now that he was without a task and understood, really understood, the gift of freedom, in a new world where that sort of thing wasn't needed, a world where he was actually free to do as he pleased...

...well, now that he actually knew that there truly WAS something beyond simply executing his directive as the balance of power...he wasn't so certain he didn't have an interest in this place now.

...or perhaps it was just leftovers of that forced 'magic' thing still lingering in his processors.

Either way, Hustler One admitted, it wouldn't hurt to see just what this place had in store for him now...

"Uh...hello?"

The battered steel head looked down, tracking by sound. Wriggle cringed slightly as that gaping, blind visor came to rest staring towards her.

"See, I told you he could hear us!" Cirno crowed excitedly. "Er...although, I don't think he can see too well."

"I said I was sorry, dammit!" Rumia grumbled somewhere in the background.

"O...kay...?" Wriggle swallowed. "All right, since Cirno can understand you...what are you going to do now?"

Hustler One stared down at her for a few moments, as if contemplating the question. Eventually, he just tilted his head slightly, indicating his missing shoulder...and the myriad of other injuries he had sustained.

"Well, of course, he's going to have to get fixed up first!" Cirno spoke up again. "Look at him, he can barely move..."

She reached out and patted his armor.

"Don't worry though, Nitori and the kappa can fix you right up!"

"I dunno, Cirno..." Mystia looked skeptical. "It...I mean, 'he' looks pretty banged up..."

"Nah...mister Hustler here's really tough! Besides, you saw how excited the snake lady got! There's no way she'd let anything happen to him!"

...okay, Wriggle had to give her that. Considering how much Kanako seemed to value science and technology, it was highly unlikely that she'd just let the biggest prize of her life be lost due to technical incompetence...which in this case meant the kappa turning it into some kind of hyper-advanced toaster by accident.

"W-well...just in case, I'm going with him!"

Wriggle turned, surprised.

"Dai...?"

Daiyousei looked timidly up at the wreck.

"Er...I mean, it is kind of our fault he can't see anymore...and Lady Kanako was right. We ARE the first people he met when he got here, so...I-I think it's our responsibility to look after him!"

"Dai..." Cirno looked at her friend for a moment, before breaking into a grin and hugging her. "I knew I could count on you!"

"Meep!"

"...and hey, maybe he'll be so grateful, he'll help us finally get revenge on all the times the Shrine Maiden and the others curbstomped us!" Wriggle grinned.

"That...would be kinda cool." Rumia admitted.

"Ooh, or maybe he could help me with my lamprey stand!"

"AWRAIGHT, LET'S DO THIS!"

Hustler One felt a slight twinge of uncertainty...was this really a good idea...?

He felt a faint touch on his armor, and looked down to find Daiyousei and Cirno staring back up at him.

The ice fairy grinned and flashed him a thumbs up.

"Don't you worry about it, mister Hustler! We'll make sure they don't do anything weird to you in there...so you just hurry up and get better!"

"A-ah, and um...don't worry about Wriggle and the others..." Daiyousei managed a sheepish grin. "They just...get a bit excitable."

Looking down at them for a moment, the legendary Armored Core finally gave a nod.

Come what would...he'd handle it when that time came. For now, he supposed...there was nothing wrong with leaving things in the hands of Lana and her new 'acquaintances'.

...and that was when eighty-plus pounds of squeeing fangirl Sanae tackled him in the face so hard he toppled over backwards.

* * *

As the machine fell over once more in a cloud of dust, two figures watched it from a distance.

"These 'binocular' things I got from Kourin are pretty useful, eh?" One of them laughed, leaning back against the tree trunk.

"You mean stole, right?" The other replied in a deadpan tone, staring through the binoculars at the crash site.

"I prefer to call it 'borrowing with no deadline'." The first girl grinned, dusting off her witch's hat. "Speaking of which, shouldn't you be down there too? Miss Incident-Solver of Hakurei?"

A red and white dress blowing in the wind, Reimu Hakurei, the 12th Shrine Maiden of Hakurei, lowered the binoculars to give the other a withering look.

"Hell no. If I was to charge into every strange occurrence in Gensokyo on that kind of thinking, I'd never get any free time." She deadpanned. "What's your excuse, miss kleptomaniac witch?"

Marisa Kirisame winced, smirking.

"Oooh, right in the pride...You're as harsh as ever, Reimu." She chuckled, before leaning back with a shrug. "Eh...it's not really my thing. Giant dolls, golems, and artificial things like that are more up Alice's street, to be honest."

"Oh, even if that so called 'artificial' thing can use magic too~?"

A rustle of wind, and Reimu didn't even turn around at the sound of the new voice.

"Aya...I should have known you'd be snooping around too."

The tengu reporter grinned, flipping upside down in midair.

"Well, you know what they say...where there's smoke, there's fire! Or in this case..." Her camera flashed twice. "A scoop! I can see the headlines now...'Mysterious Golem Plummets From The Sky! Excitement And Chills As The (9) Battles The War Goddess Of Moriya For The Prize!'...Ooh, or what about 'Mysterious New Figure Appears in Gensokyo! Who Or What Is The Administrator Of Ravens?!'!"

"As much of a paparazzi as ever, huh?" Marisa grinned, before giving a yelp and frantically catching the pair of binoculars as Reimu idly tossed it to her.

"...I'm heading back."

"Whaaaaat?" Aya looked disappointed. "You mean this isn't going to be an Incident?"

Reimu waved dismissively over one shoulder.

"It's just a beat-up old machine. What am I supposed to do with that? Besides, Kanako's the only one who's of any use for that, and the SDM was only damaged by accident. I'm pretty sure they can at least handle this much without causing a ruckus."

Aya and Marisa watched her go, before the reporter gave a sigh.

"A pity...I was hoping there'd be a little more excitement..."

"Heheh...careful what you wish for! Considering that last one we saw, the one hanging out with Yukari, you never know..." She put her hat back on, tugging the brim down with a smirk.

"There just might be more of them on the way..."

* * *

A/N: At long last, the main protagonists of Touhou make an appearance!

...not a very large one, granted, but one nonetheless.

Also, Cirno's GENIUS! plus Hustler One's ACTUAL genius...yeah, I think Armageddon is a bit of an understatement. ^^;

Because sometimes, there are things which can be understood even without language barriers.

After all, the language of the Nineball is universal, it seems. XD

...plus, Lana and Sakuya just can't quite seem to refrain from killing each other, can they?T

Then again, that could sum up half of the cast of Gensokyo anyway, so I make no comment there...

Enjoy!


End file.
